Tuesday, October 31, 2006

If you give me any Candy Corn, I'll TP your house, motherf*cker

You know, for the last few years, Halloween has really lost all fun for me. I’m not a big costume person. Rarely do I come up with anything fabulous, and if I do, I almost never get the motivation to put the costume together. Halloween sneaks up on me. It’s like I look at a calendar around October 3rd, and think “Oh yeah, Halloween is coming up. I should figure out a costume.” Then I forget all about it until 10 pm October 30th. I just suck.

As a kid, I loved Halloween because, as you may have realized, I love candy with a passion. And, strangers handing free candy out? Really?!? Sign me up.
But, you hit the teen years, and Halloween is more or less women’s excuse to dress in ways they normally wouldn’t. Oh, yeah, and drinking a lot. But, I learned a long while ago, that I just can’t drink and get to work the next day. I just can’t. I’m old that way.

So, what’s the point, eh? Add Halloween to the list of things that have stopped being fun. OR just add it to the list titled “Ways You Can Tell Coley Is Old and Crotchety.”

Although, I am interested to see what befalls my neighborhood tonight. On a normal day, it’s not uncommon to find crack-smoking-paraphernalia on my stoop. What ghetto-ridiculousness can the crack-heads come up with?


So, my beautiful lady Sarah mentioned to a colleague of hers that I’d thrown my back out. His response “She should exercise and strengthen those back muscles.” To which Sarah said, “she does.” He replied with a sarcastic, “Sure she does.”

I find it interesting (just for you Sarah), that this person felt comfortable, not only diagnosing the problem, but also questioning my lifestyle and habits. Especially interesting because this person has never met me, spoken to me or seen me in passing. I realize it’s kind of a human foible to try to give advice to those with problems. I realize humans also like to pass judgment on each other, because they would never be stupid/out-of-shape/clumsy/etc to have that problem. But it still irks me. So, a big “FUCK OFF” to that guy.

Speaking of my back, I’m feeling pretty good now. The pain is lessening, and I’ve been sleeping well and moving around enough to keep loose. But, like an ass, this is when I always do something stupid to re-injure myself. For example, this morning, I found myself hoisting a 30 lb Alhambra water bottle onto my shoulder to replace the empty one in the dispenser in the break room. Clearly, I am not to be trusted with my own recovery.

Ever since I decided and put into writing that I would cut all contact with my MIL, I’ve felt completely unburdened. I’m not angry about the nastiness, I’m not hurt by her behavior, I’m just ok. Sure, she’s crazy, but I don’t have to deal with it at all. I know Xtian is still bothered by it, but I feel pretty great. (This could also being the painkillers and muscle relaxants talking, but screw it, I feel awesome). I guess having a plan really does help, thanks mom!

K, I'm off to find something to do for the next hour or so.

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