Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Holy Crap. I am exhausted. Today while driving the kids to daycare, before I drove myself to work, I realized that if I blinked for longer than a split second, I would fall asleep. And it almost sounded worth it. That is when I realized... I need to find a way to get more rest.
I've been getting up at 4 am to work out and shower before work. Of course, I rarely get to bed before 10:30 or 11 pm. As you may have noticed, that's not much sleep. It's significantly less sleep when your nights still consist of at least two rounds of "rush to the kids' room so you can slap a binky in the baby's mouth."

That said, I'm actually really enjoying most of my life. Work is hectic as all get out, but my projects are engaging and fun. I'm enjoying the kids more often than not. I've been able to see friends and family fairly often. Xtian and I are still having trouble finding the time and energy to devote to "us-time"but we're at least talking about that. I'm not dissatisfied with our relationship, I just know it's not terribly healthy to spend all our time together in constant survival mode. "Did you bathe the kids?" "Yeah, did you pack their snacks?" "Not yet, can you get the diapers washed while I make dinner?" And that's on the lucky nights he's home before I'm in bed.

I know our crazy schedules will let up at some point, but right now, I don't feel like I'm being the spouse and partner I need to be. But it's on the radar... and some day soon... we'll get a scheduled date or something. It's just rough, because we never know what any day of the week will bring. Without notice, he could be stuck at work until 10 pm and there's nothing we can do about it. So it doesn't make sense to make plans, since 60% of the time, we'll have to blow them all off anyway.

On the plus side, our weekends are starting to slow down. So at least we can start making plans for Saturdays.

But, I really wanted to share that my boys are indescribably cute. Just in case you were wondering. As much as I whine about kids, and what a pain in the ass they are... I'm so looking forward to adding more biscuits to the bunch. Warren and Lennox are so sweet together.  They are madly in love with each other.  At least every day there is a moment where I watch them and can think "THIS is why I wanted siblings for Warren. This moment right here." Like sitting in dead stopped traffic, and realizing that Lennox is laughing hysterically at Warren's funny faces, and then getting to listen to them go back and forth in hilarity all the way home. These babies are incredible.

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