Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Gah! Holidays!

No, really everything was just delightful over the holidays. Low key affairs all around. Warren's 1st birthday was just wonderful with tons of good people, good food, and way too many gifts for the kiddo. So many gifts, I had to hide more than half of them for later use. I didn't even bother bringing out the couple of things I'd bought for him. Now, we have a huge stash of toys to bring out and cycle around when he gets bored of the current ones. It's really fun seeing everyone I love falling for my kid. He's really pretty special. I know, everyone says that, but man this kid just knocks me out every day.

He's a total walking machine, and is quickly figuring out climbing. Woof. Warren's sleep is getting better. He's now used to our system, if he wakes up before 5 am, Xtian takes him to the living room to snuggle and catch a few more hours of sleep. If it's after 5 am, I'll take him to bed with us and nurse him. Then I get up around 6 and sneak out of the house without waking any of my boys.

This morning was a day where Warren woke up after 5, so I nursed him then dozed until my alarm went off, then got myself ready and left for work. Xtian woke just after I'd left, quietly got up and got himself together for the day, leaving Warren asleep in our bed. While Xtian was making breakfast, he glanced over to the living room to see Warren wander in. He had apparently awoken, scootched out of bed (he's learned the lay on your belly, and backpedal until your feet hit the floor move all by himself), and came looking for breakfast without a word. Like, "hey, is there coffee?" Funny little person he is.

He finally recognizes my family and will willingly run to them when he sees them. This is a huge step forward for him, and he's grown particularly fond of my dad these days. A wonderful turnaround from a few months ago when he would scream every time he saw my dad. But now, he's Grandpa's boy and it's pretty precious.

The guys are still struggling to find work, but we're doing ok. If we can just cut our expenses a little more, we'll actually be able to survive on my income alone. Not well, and not really making progress, but we'll make it. And with Xmas over, we have a few weeks off until the next family birthdays (4 of them in one week. Fantastic planning.)

Work is up and down for me. Some days I feel like I'm doing well and can be successful, other days I feel like I'm going to fall flat on my face and that this is the worst mistake I've ever made. But more good than bad. I just hate not knowing, and feeling unsure of how I'm being judged. Stressful.

We're planning a quiet New Year's Eve, with a bottle of champagne and lots of sleep for Mama. I've been sick for the last few days and am dying for an extended nap. We'll see.

Hope everyone is doing splendidly. Hey 2009 has got to be better than 2008, eh?


Faith said...

People keep talking about the things that we did in 2008, and looking back and putting consideration on the things you did in 2008...

I didn't do anything. I feel...kinda ok about that.

Ok, about the work thing. Can you request like a 3 month review? Where you can go in and say, "Ok, here's my perception of what's going on...I feel good about these things, but unsure about these other things. I would like feedback on both to make sure I'm (a) on the right track, and (b) aware of where to go to get on the right track if I'm not. Because I wanna do my job well." Would that work?

Coley said...

You know, that's an idea I go back and forth with. I have weekly meetings with my boss, and he's been nothing but positive about the work I'm doing, and given me no reason to fear.
My insecurity really comes from the one meeting I had with the owner of the company who showed she cared about ONE thing. And it's that ONE thing that takes a little time and momentum to get going. So, I feel like mostly it's my insecurity driving me crazy.

But I think you're right about asking the question.