Friday, October 12, 2007

Dignity and Pregnancy have nothing in common.

So, I know that there are a lot of people in the world who find pregnant ladies sexy. Unfortunately for me, Xtian is not one of them. My question is this: how many refusals of sex do you take before you stop asking? I’m officially feeling rejected, ugly and disgusting. I know he loves me, but it’s just that he’s pretty repulsed by the way I look these days. Not his fault, I know that. It’s common for men to have trouble sexing up ladies who are now…someone’s…MOM. But dude! Pregnancy hormones have amped up my usually healthy appetite to the point of insatiable hunger. And it’s pretty much the only thing Xtian’s NOT interested in.

The crappy part is, I tried to mention to him how this rejection is making me feel. So, being the good man he is Xtian tries to comply with my wishes. Except now I know it’s just pity sex. And that’s even more demoralizing than being rejected. Am I really that pathetic?

Someone tell me this isn’t my life from now on. Please? I didn’t sign on for a sexless marriage. Really sucks to find out that you don’t get your man hot anymore. My sexual identity and confidence are at all-time lows. Fuck this sucks.

But, it’s Friday, it’s rainy and I think I’m buying myself a vat of hot chocolate, curling up on the couch and never shaving my legs again. What’s the point when I’m the only one who touches my legs anymore?

I don’t mean to wallow. I don’t. But damned if I can think about anything else for longer than twenty seconds.

Ok, I can do some pointless complaining about coworkers:

Telling an 8-month pregnant lady, “Wow, you finally look pregnant” is not a compliment. Because you know what? That means I just looked fat before. Thanks.

When you see a pregnant lady lifting 30 pound water bottles, shouting, “Are you supposed to be doing that?” across the room, while still sitting down, is retarded. Either offer to help, or shut up.

I know, I’m big. Fuck off. (Although one woman did hit on the only kind, appropriate thing to say about a pregnant lady’s weight. “Wow, have you gained any weight at all? Well it must be all baby because you look great!” See? Was that hard?) If you don’t have something complimentary to say, shut your mouth. You don’t have to fill all silence. A quiet smile and nod are perfectly appropriate when we cross paths in the bathroom.

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