Wednesday, October 10, 2007

More Crazy.

Warning! What follows is a ranting tirade about my mother in law. If you aren’t interested, check back at a later date where I will focus more on the standard fare of pointless whining and vagina jokes.

So, I mentioned the bizarre phone message from MIL last week? Wherein she demanded to know why Xtian hadn’t sent any pregnancy pictures of me? Yeah. So that was weird, but harmless.
Yesterday, Xtian got a letter from his mother. At first, it looked like just a Thank You card (which was appropriate, since he’d sent her a birthday gift a few weeks before. Remember? Snakes On A Plane? Yeah, still funny). The thank you was not really a thank you. It said, “Thank you for the lovely card. The gift was very unusual.” Now, I find her calling the gift “unusual” hilarious, since the gifts Xtian has received over the last few years usually consist of a dozen pairs of used shoes, of different sizes; completely awkward movies (Stepford Wives, Monster In Law); Bible tracts, and consecrated Jesus Oil. Really? Was Xtian’s gift to her any weirder than a huge box of USED SHOES that don’t fit him? I don’t think so.

So, whatever, a thank you that didn’t really thank him. Fine. But then we find the real reason for the card. Tucked inside was a two-page letter. At first it looked like any of the other photocopied flyers people hand out on street corners that she sends regularly. But this had so many typos, spelling errors and word usage issues that it could only have been written by MIL. The gist was that Xtian has fucked up his entire life, and is miserable. And that he’d continue to be so until he came back to jebus and left his “companion.” Meaning me. Bitch couldn’t call me by name or even his wife. She spent about half the letter talking about how he is suffering from his poor life choices and how he’d never be happy, or allowed to see his own brother until he got away from me. Delightful. Just fucking delightful.

I know that she is mentally ill, and that this has nothing to do with me really. But shit, man. I haven’t had any contact with her in over a year. In the past I’ve tried ignoring her, defending myself, playing along with her bizarre fantasyland. Nothing works. Nothing changes. Nothing stems the tide of vile garbage. And like all letters, she ended it with, “This subject is now closed.” So, no chance of asking her what the fuck is wrong with her, why in the name of god she’d ever send this to her own son, or even to tell her to drop dead and never contact us again. I’m so infuriated and at a total loss on how to deal with her. I can’t even imagine how Xtian’s feeling. How do you process this much hatred coming from your own mother?


My ideal solution would be to call her, tell her to fuck off and die, and to never contact us again. Change phone numbers, block her email addresses, and maybe put out a hit on her. But, it’s not my call to make.

So, what I can do is as follows: I can support my husband in however he decides to deal with her. I can continue to have no contact with that woman. I can determine that until she gets help for her illness, she is not allowed to have contact with me, my family and my child(ren). Anything mailed to my home will be sent back, unopened. And I can help my poor, darling brother in law to get the hell away from her, should he decide to.

I don’t want to sound petty by keeping my kid away from her. It’s not to punish MIL. I just can’t possibly see anything good coming from it. There isn’t a single positive influence she could ever have on a child, and really, I can only see some pretty severe damage as the end result. I’m sad that it is this way. I wish Xtian’s mother were different. I wish my kids could have great relationships with both grandmas. I wish I could be a more understanding person, and could look beyond the bullshit. But, this isn’t Coley’s Best Case Scenario. And watching the way she continually hurts the person I love most in this world makes me feel violent.

That’s pretty much all that’s whirling through my brain today. Hope everyone else is doing well.

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