Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Open letter to my brain:

Dear Brain,

I have always tried to treat you well, but it has become clear to me that I just can’t provide what you need. For the last 25 years, I’ve done everything in my power to make you happy: I drink all the water in the world, I eat well, I take my vitamins, I work out, and I do my best to sleep at least 8 hours a night. I don’t know what else I can do to keep you satisfied.

And yet, after all the effort I’ve put in, you still refuse to meet me halfway. Why? Why do you insist on waking me out of a dead slumber by trying to make my entire skull explode from the pain? Why do you constantly seek a way out of body? It hurts me. It really does.

I know this might come as a shock to you, but I think it’s time we saw other people. I’d like to remain friends, but I just can’t do this anymore. I feel like we keep having the same problems over and over again without ever finding a solution.

Please, vacate my skull as soon as possible.

Best of luck in future endeavors,

(If you can’t tell, my head fucking hurts.)

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