Monday, September 10, 2007

Rambling! It's what's for dinner!

Weekend, blah blah blah. Had a delightful birthday dinner for Sarah on Friday night. Sarah brought a new boy she’s been dating, which worried me a bit when I heard he was coming. Allow me to briefly explain:
Over the course of our friendship, Sarah’s had a good number of male-companions. And as I recollect, every single one of them has hated me. And I don’t mean they’ve quietly harbored some distaste for my personality. I mean, violently, and verbally HATED ME! Which is interesting, because, in a lot of ways, Sarah and I are pretty alike. So, if they hate me, why are they dating her?

Anyway, as a result and to preserve my delicate self-esteem, I’ve decreed that I don’t want to meet anyone she’s dating unless he’s been around for a couple of months. (See, if he’s in it for the long haul, I’ll put up with the hatred. But if he’s a short timer? Why would I subject myself to that?) And this guy has only been around for a couple of weeks. Blah.

I’m pleased to report that dinner was a fun time. That boy was pretty quiet, but when he did speak it was fun, and funny, and in line with the conversation at hand! I know, it doesn’t sound like much. But for a first meeting, I tend to be a little intimidating for some. And after the last guy I met, this guy was a glorious, shining example of all things good. (You see, the last guy came to my house, got stinking, aggressively LOUDLY drunk, and proceeded to SHUSH me repeatedly when I tried to quietly reel him in. So he’d stop annoying everyone. Look, when Xtian has to grab you by the shoulder and lecture you, “Don’t you shush her,” you are clearly a retard. So, yeah. Almost anything is an improvement on that guy.)

Apparently, in a weird shift, my VP presented my maternity leave proposal to our CEO. Now, I’m trying not to get my hopes up, because I’ve seen this game before, but this does make me feel a little bit better. Like, maybe there’s a chance they won’t try to dick me over on this. I know. I know. That’s crazy talk.

In the meantime, I’ve managed to jump entirely over the next few months, and am completely obsessed with/fixated on finding a childcare solution. Reminder: the very earliest I’ll need a nanny/daycare provider is MARCH. And frankly, I’m not all that picky. It’s a 3 month old. Feed it, clean it, tell it it’s smart/pretty/sweet and that’s pretty much all they need. I can always change it later. And it’s especially weird to be fixating since I have no idea when they’ll start working, what days/hours they’ll be working and where I’ll be employed.

I think I’m just finding new things to freak out over because I’m insane. Or because I really don’t want to think about birth. Birth sounds hurty, but there ain’t much I can do about it at this point. Yeah yeah, breathing, massage, distraction etc. Got it. As a girl who deals with migraines, back problems and wicked menstrual situations, I’m fairly adept at using all those natural tools to reduce pain. But beyond that basic hypothetical, I’m at a loss. And I don’t do well without concrete things I can do to prepare. So I’m sticking with buying random baby supplies, and freaking out over Craigslist childcare options. Anyone know of a good daycare in West Oakland? Or a nanny who works on a compliment/trade basis. I make dinner. I’ll tell him/her they’re pretty? Eh, fuck it. I’ve got 6 months to deal with that.

Anyhow, how are you doing?

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