Friday, September 14, 2007

Rambling begets rambling, with a side of complaining

So, I spent the last two days hiding under the covers, whining that my head hurt, how about you?

You know it’s going to be a rough day when you’ve taken the max amount of Tylenol (which, by the way, is a fucking joke. Tylenol vs. Migraine? Are you insane? You’re better off taking two Smarties, or two Rollos, depending upon your preference) allowed in a 24 hour period, and it’s only 10 am. Not a good thing at all.

But, I’m back, mostly pain free and with just the residual tiredness that comes with being in excruciating pain for days on end.

This weekend holds my family coming for a visit, and my aunt’s baby shower. Step Grandma planned this one all on her own, so I can’t wait to see this shitshow.
But, I did good, and only once accidentally slipped a “let me know how I can help!” into the 4 phone calls I got from the crazy old bag. And the only thing I’m assigned to do: bring a veggie tray.

If I may share a few annoyances from those 4 phone calls: During one phone call, I was drilled about whether or not my dad was coming. I was confused, since this was a ladies only shower. So, I said, “no, I don’t think so…” when pressed further, I said that maybe he was coming down, I hadn’t heard definitively, but that for sure he wouldn’t be at the shower. To which she replied, “Well, of course not.” No further explanation given. Weird old lady.

The invitation arrived a few weeks before the event. Fine. 6 days before the shower, SG called to let me know where my aunt was registered. Umm. Great, I’ve already bought her gift, and I’m not taking it back. So, there. (Incidentally, aside from weddings, I’m officially irritated by gift registries. I can see how they might be helpful for some, but they are feeling awfully pushy and rude these days. Especially when baby registries have things like digital video cameras on them. Huh? Isn’t it enough that I got you a gift? Do you really need to have a “theme” and do I have to buy into it? Look, it’s a baby. You’re getting stuffed animals, onesies, cutesy outfits and some random other shit. I’m not buying you the $100 nipple sterilizer you’ve requested. I’m just not.)

Even my mom had some annoyances: for starters, my SG can’t seem to spell my mom’s name correctly. It’s a standard name, with the most standard spelling. Yet, it’s never right. I shared my mom’s annoyance there, saying, “Yeah, because you’ve only been in this family for …” and my mom filled in with, “Longer than HER!” yeah. SG has been in the family for 21 years, my parents have been married for 29 years. Good stuff.

SG left a message for my mom and sister “reminding” them to bring baby photos of themselves. Except that it had never been brought up before. And I didn’t get the same message. Nice job SG! God, this is going to be a clusterfuck of irritation. Why, oh why can’t pregnant ladies drink!?

At the grocery store, I inadvertently purchased $46 worth of halibut. It better be some pretty damned good halibut.

And in a completely unrelated note: did anyone else watch “Tell Me You Love Me” on HBO? Because I did, and I have a few questions:
WHAT? Are they really allowed to show a man getting a handjob and EJACULATING on TV now?
What is the dividing line between legitimate television and porn? Because, I think we crossed it. No fewer than 4 minutes of this show involved scrotum being up front and zoomed in. Really, quite startling even for an old slut like me. Imagine how the prudes felt.


My VP sent me an email today asking me to make phone calls for her. No, I’m not her admin, and yes she does have an executive secretary. Oh, and to really add some insult, the questions she wanted me to ask had already been provided to her in an email (from the person I was to call), but they weren’t the answers she was looking for. So, I’m the douchebag who had to make that phone call and ask inane questions. Good lord do I hate that game.

I think I’m all amped up and irritated today, what do you think? Time for a little caffeine…
Happy Friday, y’all!

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