Monday, August 6, 2007

This is how I fill my days.

I keep telling myself that I only need to tough it out for a few more months. Just get to maternity leave, then I can start doing some big job hunting. I needed this job because I needed the job title. Now, I’ve got it, had it for over a year, and am starting to wake up dreading coming to work.
Not because it’s really all that bad, but because I’m so bored I could cry. I like the things I’m doing, but there just isn’t enough of it to go around. I like writing up bullshit, I like dicking around with graphics all day. I even like doing layout for the driest, legally required brochures. But there’s only so much work to be done.

Add that in with the snitches, the bitches and the email assassinators, (You know the ones, innocuous seeming emails, cc’d to every VP in the company so it reads like an indictment); it makes for a pretty unpleasant work life.

Every Monday as I lay in bed slowly heaving my swollen body to a sitting position, the only thought in my head is: how am I going to fill another five days? I’m becoming an expert at stretching my tasks out. And it feels like crap. I’m an achiever. I want to be so busy during the day I forget to pee. I want to juggle three different projects at the same time. I want to feel like I’ve actually accomplished anything. Rather than counting the minutes until I can legitimately leave.

This is also the reason why I will never be able to be a stay at home mom. I would create the most neurotic children ever if I were left home with them all day long. Type A personalities with shades of perfectionism should really not be primary caregivers. At least not THIS Type A personality.

Yeah. So. One more workday, then I’m off to Chico to hang with my mom after she’s sliced and diced. My little sister has already been tasked with keeping me and my older sister from killing each other. So, this might be a more successful family week than I’ve had in years.
Unless it’s not.

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