Thursday, August 2, 2007

When all else fails: Bitch!

In a complete about-face… I will now bitch about completely inconsequential things that have pissed me off recently:

Canned Crushed Tomatoes. I make a mean pasta sauce, and have always employed canned crushed tomatoes as the base of my pasta sauce. More texture, higher nutritional value, etc. And I’ve always been pleased with the results. Until yesterday. Apparently my neighborhood natural foods store has switched suppliers. And the new supplier has not figured out: PEEL THE DAMNED TOMATOES BEFORE YOU CRUSH THEM. Is there anything nastier than a chunk of skin in what should have been an excellent sauce? Nope, didn’t think so. It has rendered my otherwise fabulous meal completely inedible. Thanks.

Smokers with poor hygiene. Look. I’m not anti-smoker or anything. In fact, when in non-pregnant states, I’ve been known to partake from time to time. My problem lies with about 5 smokers in my office who have yet to figure out that they need to wash their clothes between wearings. Fresh smoke is annoying, but tolerable. 5-day-old smoke on someone’s jacket? Heinous. Disgusting. And vomit inducing. It’s like working with a bar room floor that hasn’t seen a mop in 3 years. Just foul.

Having to explain 4 times a day why I’m not a drooling pile of goo over having a kid. Look, I like kids. I’ve always wanted kids. But I’m just not that guy. I don’t get all sentimental over every little thing having to do with this kid. There’s nothing wrong with those who get all googly eyed hearing their fetus’ heartbeat. I’m just not. Yes, I’m glad MC has a heartbeat, but beyond that I have a hard time getting all worked up over the idea. But when you are a pregnant lady, the only thing people talk to you about is the alien in your belly, and they get really disappointed when you don’t “awwww!” shrilly along with them. I don’t get sentimental over pretty much anything, so why would this be different?

Yeah, apparently I deal with yucky emotions by shutting down all emotional processing and focusing on minor annoyances. Good stuff.

No comments: