In the Ghetto...

Oakland had no fireworks this year. I wasn’t terribly upset by this because I have to go to bed long before darkness arrives. But, oh ho! I should have been concerned. You see, since the city didn’t do anything EVERY SINGLE NEIGHBOR OF MINE put on their own crazy fireworks display. And not just sparklers, poppers and the shit sold out of campers just the other side of the county line. These were huge, professional grade fireworks being set off in every direction, every 8 or so minutes until 3 am. It need not be said, but I will anyone, I’m one tired fucking lady.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night as it was. I used all the tricks in the book. I tried to get my poor husband to have “relations” but the man was tuckered out. No dice. I tried to read really boring reference materials, goose egg. I tried lying still in the dark regulating my breathing and pretending to be asleep. Nada. When I would finally start to doze off (after 11 pm) I was immediately startled awake by what sounded exactly like a bomb landing on my house. Oh no, it’s just the neighbors behind us blowing shit up. And when Xtian’s alarm went off at 4 am, he fumbled with the “off” button so long, any chance of falling back to sleep for an extra hour and a half of sleep was long gone. So, I went to the gym and kicked my own ass for extra punishment. I am a damned fool.


Most people say the second trimester is when their energy picks back up. Obviously, those people do not get up at 4 am, 5 mornings a week to run for an hour before heading to their job for 9 hours, only to come home, unpack, repack, make dinner, clean up and throw themselves in bed to repeat the process. I’ve had some very lovely friends express concern that I’m still this tired. But let me assure you: growing a human takes a lot out of you. Growing a human on only 5-6 hours of sleep a night is even more exhausting. And doing all this without being able to relax and sleep on the weekends is the perfect storm for a state of constant “oh dear lord, just let me lie down for a few weeks” tiredness.

And just in case anyone runs into a pregnant woman, and feels the need to say something along the lines of, “Hehehe, I hope you sleep now, because you NEVER WILL AGAIN!” or “You have NO IDEA what you are getting into,” do me a favor. Don’t. These are not helpful, and really just piss me off. It’s condescending, unsupportive, infuriating and rude. I know the sight of a swollen belly and waddling gait is viewed as open season on advice offering. But, we don’t want to hear it. And when we respond with, “You know, people keep telling me that. Even when I tell them it’s not helpful,” that should clue you in to what a crass asshole you are being.

I did have one person who said something supportive though. When he congratulated me on the future baby, I mentioned that everyone keeps telling me that THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, he replied with, “you know what though, the kid starts small. And it’s hard, but really, it’s just three things with the little ones: poop, food, burp.” See? Not belittling me or my abilities to cope and raise a human. Supportive! Kind! Well-Meaning! Not mockery. So, just as a guideline to those who want to speak to someone who hasn’t been comfortable in months and would really like a rum and coke about now.

Just saying.