Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Party like a Rock Star. Totally, Dude.

Yeah, so blah blah, headaches, blah blah, whiplash trip to Chico, blah blah work is annoying.
There, I think that’s everything.

Oh, except, did I mention that we bought a car? Oh, I didn’t? Whoops. Yeah, so the cutest car in the world is now in the Coley-Xtian possession. We’ve named her Priscilla. She is blue.

It’s hard naming a car when you’re also in the process of picking out baby names. I kept getting stuck with all the names on the “Possible Baby Names” list, and thought it might be awkward to name our child after our car. Or vice versa. So, it had to be a name that wasn’t on the list, with enough humor to it that we don’t feel like asshats when we call the car by name. So, Priscilla it is. Extra points if you put on an Elvis sneer when you say it.

I went maternity shopping with my mom last weekend and actually bought clothing with PATTERNS. Those who don’t see me in person might not know that I avoid all patterns if at all possible. Everything I own is a solid color. (Hell, it’s only a few months ago that I branched out from my wardrobe containing only the colors black, red, yellow and sometimes blue. These things take time.)
And while shopping, I tricked my mom into cursing. Which, let’s face it, is always funny. I was trying on some jeans, and asked my mother, “Do these give me Mom Ass?”
Without thinking, mom replied, “No, they don’t give you Mom Ass.” Then was horrified that I’d made her cuss. Hehehehe. I’m pure evil. And it’s awesome.

DUDE! These weekends with *gulp* activities planned? They have to stop. I’m tired. I need a week to sit on my ass and eat Twizzlers. And Ramen. And watch the last season of Charmed.

So, for those not in the know, I did not change my name when Xtian and I got married.
There are a lot of reasons for this ranging from simply: I’m lazy and changing all my ID’s, spending a day at the courthouse filling out forms, and learning a new signature sounded like torture to me; and all the way to the more complex: My name is part of my identity, and names are a traditionally powerful thing (mythologically, if you name something you own it) and that didn’t sit right with me. (I’ve got no issue with those who choose to change their names, more power to you. It just didn’t work for me.)
Xtian didn’t care one way or the other if we have the same last name, and really that’s all that matters.
Some family members showed some surprise when they learned I’d kept my name, but I hadn’t heard anybody expressing negativity about it. Until last weekend.

Two instances in the same day kind of irked me.
Instance the First:
While Step Grandma and Grandpa were visiting at my parents’, we were chatting about my aunt’s recent marriage. Someone asked if my aunt had changed her name, which she did. SG told the story like this, “I asked Aunt if she was keeping her name or changing it, and she said, ‘I’ll be changing it. I’m NOT Coley.’”
This was a little weird. I’ve talked to Aunt and was supportive when she said she was changing her name. So, what’s with the attitude? Did she really disapprove or my choice? Or is it more like she felt judged and threatened?

Instance the Second
Later at dinner, my brother and his friend were over. We were chatting about marriage and babies and all that. My dad asked the very logical question, “What will your kids’ last name be?” I explained that we’ll hyphenate, and when/if the kids get married, they can do whatever they want with it.

My brother suddenly got kind of agro about me not changing my name. He kept asking why I wouldn’t. When I joked that I was too lazy to fill out forms, he snipped, “how hard can it be? One day at the courthouse! It’s not hard,” Etc. What the fuck does it matter to him? Is it so offensive that he had to start a fight with me over dinner? It kept escalating despite my efforts to disarm with, “It was important to me, and Xtian is fine with it, so that’s all that matters.” Shit, dude. Why does anyone think they get to have an opinion about these things? How does it affect you, in any way? And, seriously, we’ve been married over a year. NOW is the time to have this throw down over a PERSONAL CHOICE?

Fuck. Now I’m getting all annoyed just thinking about it. I love my family, but sometimes I want to choke the shit out of some people.

Right, I’m out.

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