I’ve become a complete tease. My tits have increased to a ridiculous size. But they’ve now become so sensitive you can’t even touch them, breathe on them or even think about them. Xtian is so pleased. He’s a lucky man, that one.
On top of everything else, at least the boost in hormones and relatively light symptoms have REALLY let things in the bedroom pick up. Until the cramping and bleeding began. Now, we aren’t allowed to have sex and I’m not even supposed to become aroused. Just awesome. So, I’m all riled up, all the time. My husband is finding me more alluring than ever (between the bigger tits, and the almost extreme end-table-ass I’m rocking these days). And I can’t do a damn thing with it. Seriously Mocha Cub? You are not making mama very happy. I think I’ll make a note of all this and start grounding MC for it once MC hits 14. Sounds about right, eh?
This is how you know that life is one big joke. Or just that the universe doesn’t give a shit about me. Either way.
And since I can’t stay up past 7:30 these days, I’ll be watching my taped Gilmore Girls. It’s the last episode ever, and I foresee a lot of crying on my part. Perhaps I should just hand Xtian $20 and have him leave the house. No, that’ll never work. I hate watching tv by myself. Who would I make bitchy commentary to? The cats have heard all my material.
Life is about to get a little more ridiculous. I’ve only got a few more days to get all the games ready for my aunt’s bridal shower. Anyone have any games they love/hate? I’ve always hated the toilet paper wedding dress game, but if life keeps fucking with me like this, I might just have to do it.
Then it’s only a week until the actual wedding. Have I bought the gifts for either of these events? No. Have I at least pulled all the things out of storage that I promised I would? No. Do I have any idea what I will be wearing to the wedding? Hmmm. Nope. And even better, the belly is starting to make itself known already. How does one dress for a daytime wedding these days? The only things that fit and can pass for “nice” anymore are all black. Does that seem in bad taste?
Oh, and one of the VP’s at my work just announced she’s knocked up as well. She and this guy have only been dating a few months, her divorce was only made legal last month and her BF is unemployed. White trash much? Except to make me feel petty and shitty (like that’s new), her BF is black and she is white. I feel like she’s stealing my thunder.
I expressed my craziness to Xtian who had one thing to say, “well at least OUR child will be LEGITIMATE.” This is why I love that man. For all his sweetness and kindness, he can be just a bitchy as I can. And that’s the strongest foundation for marriage that I can think of.
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