Wednesday, May 9, 2007

In which much disdain is rained down upon those mentioned:

First things first: People. Update your blogs! I need more reading material. And there’s only so much time I can read through the descriptions of Personality Disorders, in an attempt to figure out exactly what is wrong with my MIL.
(Note: I think I’ve settled on this guy right here: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.)

AND speaking of which, I don’t think I ever mentioned this story, so I’ll tell it now, since I don’t give a shit.

Last year, I was trying to get friendly with my then-MIL-to-be. She mentioned offhand that she doesn’t speak with her siblings or their children. In fact, she doesn’t keep contact with any of her family. I thought this was strange, but hadn’t yet realized that this woman isn’t a little crazy. She’s clinically insane. She went on to explain that her family came from a lot of money and that she was raised with maids, chauffeurs, nannies etc. She reasoned that she didn’t want her kids being brought up like that, so she broke contact with her family.
This seemed a little extreme to me (Ummm, just raise your kids with some values. You clearly didn’t have much money, so I don’t think the whole “rich entitled” thing would have actually happened) but whatever, I’m playing the role of understanding future daughter-in-law.

Then when we got engaged, and asked her which family members she wanted to invite the wedding, she sent me a 4 page rambling email, telling me in no uncertain terms that I was welcome to invite her family, but then she would absolutely not be attending. Ok, this was just getting plain weird. I responded that of course her feelings were important to us, but that it was equally as important for Xtian to have as much family as he wanted there, and I hoped she could make arrangements to come.

The response was a little horrifying. Several pages of email telling me that her family was all a bunch of perverts and drug dealers. That’s a direct quote. Her sister’s kids were all in jail; her siblings were all perverted individuals who belonged in prison for their crimes. Without saying so outright, she was trying to give the impression that these people were all child molesters who shot up. I showed the email to Xtian who had actually spent a few weeks with these people when he was 17, and none of those things were true.

So, at some point I finally figured out that it’s not that SHE won’t have a relationship with her family. It’s that THEY won’t have a relationship with HER. That’s only two of the different stories she’s told me about her family and not one of them were compatible with the others.

Then a week before the wedding, she decided that she couldn’t afford to come to the wedding since the hotels were just “unreasonable.” Yeah, it’s the bay area and some hotels are really expensive. But there are also Motel 6’s for under $50 a day, and she was only there for a couple of days. She had months of notice, but decided to wait until the week before the wedding to pull some more manipulation. So, some of my family chipped in to help her get a room. Just another way to make sure she was getting the VIP treatment she feels she deserves.

So, yeah, yet another chapter in the Coley’s MIL is Fucking Mentally Ill diaries.


So apparently, I quit the softball a few weeks too soon. They have still YET to win a game, and I missed the brawl last night.

That’s right, BitchFace got into an actual fist fight with a woman on the other team. This is what I call, “Classy.” The story goes like this: BitchFace and her friend Jennie (both women well over 30) got a little sloshed before the game. During the game, there was some intense shit talking between BitchFace and a woman on the other team. After the game, both teams were engaging in the customary handshake and “good game” exchanges. The woman on the other team apparently jumped on BitchFace’s back and started whooping on her. Now, from here I can see defending yourself. But then Jennie started hitting the other woman. Two on one does not a clean/defensive fight make. The rest of the teams pulled the three women apart, the three women were all straining to get back to the fight. It was a this point BitchFace screamed into the other woman’s face, “You FUCKING BITCH!” So, rather than fighting back to get herself out of the situation, she’s upgraded her participation to "fight inciter". Following this, the rest of the players managed to get the three women into their respective cars. Unfortunately, this just started a dangerous chase through the rural suburb. Several folk on our team took off after them just to make sure no one died, and that they didn't just continue the fight on the side of the road.

Just the classiest thing I’ve ever heard. But I guess when you get enough white trash and booze together; these things are bound to happen.


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