I know, there's nothing more boring than someone telling you their dreams...

I know a lot of pregnant ladies start having really vivid and/or disturbing dreams. I was prepared for all the “giving birth to monsters” or “being a terrible parent” dreams. What I was not prepared for were all the “Getting arrested because my friends were all smoking weed” and “my MIL doing everything in her power to make my life suck” dreams. I mean, really? Where is all this shit coming from? I haven’t had any contact with MIL in months. She keeps sending things in the mail, but Xtian gets rid of them before I have a chance to see, and since I blocked her email address I haven’t heard a peep out of her. (Luckily she hasn’t figured out the whole “Get a new email address to continue harassing people” thing).

And I’ve never been arrested *knocking wood* and was never into weed, so what the fuck? After a night like that, I wake up all pissed off, not realizing that those things DIDN’T actually happen. (Much like when I dreamt Xtian and I had a nasty, loud, fight in the middle of Target, and when I woke up I kept glaring at him and being bitch until I realized that it didn’t really happen, so I should probably stop acting mad at him. Once again, Xtian is a lucky man. This kind of crazy can’t be learned, it’s born.)

So, nights full of vivid, never ending stress dreams suck.

Tonight I have a “Prenatal Orientation” meeting through my doctor’s office. It’s going to be 3+ hours of: Don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t do drugs. Eat well, call your doctor, and keep peeing in tiny plastic vials. And because I decided to do all my prenatal stuff at the doctor closest to my work (35 miles from my home) it’s not like I’ll get to make any new friends, since they all live far. So, aside from irony and mockery, tonight might just be a complete bust.

Now that Sarah has moved to her own place (within walking distance of at least 5 stores I am capable of spending an entire paycheck, much to my budget’s detriment) the cats again outnumber the humans. I’m a little concerned about what this will mean in the long run. Already, the girls are whiny and in need of constant attention. (And telling my cats, “You need to shutup. No one cares about your feelings. You are my least favorite cat” will never stop amusing me. Because, you know, they’re cats and have no idea what I’m saying to them, only that I’m looking at them. So they’re pretty happy). The boy cat will not stop following me into the bathroom to try and sit on my lap while I pee, or watch me shower. No, that’s not creepy at all. Not one bit. I think they are trying to break us, but alas, I will prevail. Because, if nothing else, I’m bigger than them, and I can close doors.

This was, quite possibly the worst post ever written. But you know, since I wrote it in between three different pee-breaks, I don’t really know what you were expecting.

Happy Monday, ya’ll.