Lack of Self Awareness is AWESOME!

At my place of employment, there is a large break room. The building itself is only a few years old, and the break room is set up with brand new, fancy pants appliances, ovens, stoves, warming drawers etc. I’m pretty sure I could cook one sweet ass feast in this kitchen. As such, I pretty much always bring my lunch, since I have all the tools for making something delicious and generally healthful.

Also in this break room are three vending machines, one for Coke, one for Pepsi and one for assorted snacks. These soda machines get refilled a couple of times a week since everyone who works here has at least two sodas a day. (I know, I just vomited a little at the thought of it too.) The vending machine has your general fare: candy bars, some random Hostess cupcakes, potato chips and the row of gum and mints at the bottom.

At least once a day I hear someone complaining about all the “unhealthy” choices in the vending machine. I always laugh at this because: 1) It’s a vending machine. It’s not refrigerated, what are you honestly expecting, a fresh salad? Not happening. 2) Since it’s the same 20 people who frequent the vending machine, clearly they know they get hungry every day. So, if they were truly concerned about their healthy snacking, they should probably plan ahead and bring a healthy snack like the rest of us.

These snide thoughts run through my head every day when I hear someone throwing money into the machine, then complaining about how they are gaining weight. (Umm, the cause clearly hasn’t been connected to the affect yet.) Today, I actually took a moment to look at the vending machine. The machine is half empty right now, due to be refilled, so I can’t speak for what is missing. But here are just a few of the options still available: packets of smoked almonds, fruit snacks sweetened only with fruit juice, whole grain wheat thins, low-fat pretzels, low-fat popcorn, trail mix, animal crackers and more. And while this isn’t the healthiest food out there, it’s freakin’ amazing by vending machine standards.

So, clearly, the healthier options are there, people just prefer the 26 grams of fat per serving potato chips, the refined sugar crammed candy bars. But by voicing loudly their complaint, “Isn’t there anything HEALTHY to eat in here?” they are cleansing their conscience from any liability in their expanding fatness.

I know we all make justifications for our own behavior. It helps alleviate guilt and culpability in our own faults. But it’s just too much fun to catch people making their excuses for chowing down on 1,000 calories worth of garbage food BETWEEN MEALS!
I’ve never understood snacking. I guess I don’t really categorize my meals the same way. I’m rarely hungry on a normal schedule. I find it difficult to eat within 3 hours of waking up, so if I’m hungry and it’s 10 am, I’ll call that breakfast. When I’m not at work looking for ways for the day to go faster, I don’t get hungry again until after 3, at which point, I’ll eat, then usually skip dinner. (Yes, that does make me eligible for the early bird special. I know, I know, I’m 90 years old.)


I have no idea where this rant came from. But I’m posting this crap anyway because…I can.


Happy Tuesday, softball is tonight. Any bets on how badly we get our asses kicked tonight?