Thursday, January 4, 2007

Coley Rambles, Once More With Feeling!

So, a whirlwind few days it has been. A total of four out-of-town guests (although, now that Sarah’s moving in, I don’t think she counts as a guest anymore) and I’m pretty tired now. New Year’s Eve was an excellent night of fun, power outages, drinking, twisted ankles, and drunken discussions with a Mormon about the roles of men and women. Just in case I was starting to think, “Gee, I wonder why I didn’t want to marry/be a Mormon?”

Pat came through in reminding me. He’s not a bad person. Weird, yes; awkward, absolutely. But not a bad guy, just a 27-year-old virgin. Excellent. Basically, the whole thing centered around the pretty standard Mormon value that men and women are different, and that god planned these differences (which taken to their logical conclusion, means that to go against these differences is to go against god) so that men and women would need each other. For someone like me who isn’t very typical as females go, it pisses me off.

I know there are differences between men and women, but I feel that most of these are socialized differences. I feel like to be the best and most complete humans we can be, we should strive to embrace both typically male and female traits. I don’t want to be with someone because I need him/her. I want to want it. Put it this way: Do you love someone because you need them? Or do you need them because you love them? I didn’t marry Xtian because he’s going to bring home the bacon and take out the trash every week. And I hope he didn’t marry me so that he doesn’t have to cook or clean for himself anymore, and so I’ll raise his kids. Very few of the chores we do fall along the gender lines. And I feel like falling into those roles because it’s easier is not exactly helping you become a better, more self-aware person.

With Sarah moving in, I’ve been evaluating some of my behavior that’s probably not all that roommate-friendly. Things like, lying on the couch in only panties, allowing chip crumbs to fall, as they will. The irrepressible need to start the laundry while someone else is showering (ensuring the water will in no way maintain pressure or temperature). Not to mention my obsessive cleanliness that dictates dishes must be washed within 15 minutes of being used. Things that Xtian is legally bound to endure, but a roommate may call “crazy” or “gross.”

And poor darling Xtian will soon discover that while one Coley is difficult, two of them are durned impossible. Because, you see, Sarah and I are pretty much the same person. We may have some slightly different ways of showing our Crazy, (i.e. I’m obsessively clean, while Sarah is compulsively messy; I’m unbelievably adaptive, Sarah is sensitive to every possible sensation, smell, sight, etc) but all the same neuroses are there.
This was hammered home to me a while back when Sarah called and told me about her night. She was seeing someone, and was sleeping at his home. She told him she was really tired and that she’d just like to go to sleep, no doing it. Then was offended when he didn’t try to have sex with her. I know, it sounded silly and crazy to me too. Until Xtian reminded me that I DO THE VERY SAME THING! Oy. In my head it all makes sense. I might not be interested in sex, but I still want YOU to be interested in it, even though you won’t be getting any. Get it? Neither does he.
So, now he will have not one but TWO crazy, irrational, neuroses fueled, achievement-aholics on his hands. Anyone in the area, please kidnap that man and feed him booze until he’s numb to it all.

OH! And before I forget, Happy B-Day Kelly! May you be intoxicated and groped in the name of Aging!

No comments: