Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Tuesday is to the Rest of the Week, as Drunk, Smelly, Child-Molestery Uncle is to the Rest of the Family

The Jens and I had our First Annual Holiday dinner/music exchange on Saturday night. I haven’t discussed making this an annual event with them yet, but I’ll send that bill up to congress and see how it goes. We all had our respective man-companions and since Sarah was in town, she came as well. Dinner was delightful, if difficult to hear each other. Instead of getting random ass gifts for each other, we elected to make CDs of our favorite music and exchange them. So, I’m just starting to sort through the multitude of music we all got. Jen S’s has a song called Carve That Possum. I think I’m officially in love. It’s a blue grassy old-timey little ditty, and yes the chorus is indeed “Carve that possum.”
It was only after hearing it twice did I remember that she told us about this song months ago. And it also reminded me that we had decided that “Carving the possum” was our new favorite euphemism for EVERYTHING. I suggest using it in casual conversation immediately.

“That bitch sent those same forms back for the SIXTH TIME! I tell you, that just carves the possum.”

“So, the other night, Xtian and I were, ahem, carving the possum, and the phone rang. It really killed the mood.”

It has so many applications; I’m pretty nearly mind boggled.


I’ve never really gotten into most TV dramas. Grey’s Anatomy: eh, it’s on after my bedtime, and I just don’t care about people as thin and neurotic as they. (Shut up, I might be neurotic, but I'm not waifer thin.)Desperate Housewives: just stop, and stop it now.

Basically, I like a few shows, and I watch them pretty religiously (and by “watching” I mean, taping and watching the next day, because 8 pm is my bedtime. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am 24 years old.) rarely adopting new ones. Charmed was never one that I could have cared about.
But, now that I’m at the gym by 5 am every morning, the only things on their TVs (which are directly in front of me, and therefore impossible not to look at) are CNN, ESPN and Charmed. I can’t see the subtitles very well, and there's no volume, so CNN and ESPN are hard to follow. Charmed, on the other hand, has pretty girls and handsome-ish men and is the easiest thing to follow without volume.
And now, I find myself looking for episodes of Charmed to be on the air when I’m at home. *sigh, this officially makes me a total dork. 5 years after it was anywhere near appropriate, I’ve gotten myself a Charmed fetish. Just awesome.

Meanwhile, I’m officially calling my holiday shopping complete. Perhaps I’ll finally get it together and make some candy goodness for the family, but we’ll just see about that. Dare I attempt to improve upon my mother’s fudge recipe? And I only had to actually leave my home once! Fuck shopping in stores. Stores are chock full of assholes, and I’ll be damned if I’m one of them. Not only that, seeing that many surly teenagers giving their parents attitude without consequences is starting to squelch my desire to ever procreate. And what with the whole lack of birth control going on in my house, this could be a problem.
So, onward and upward!

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