Monday, October 16, 2006

It's Friday and I'm in Love, er Monday, rather.

Things I’ve decided I do better after a few drinks:

  • Sing Journey at top volume (seriously, who knew I was that AWESOME of a singer?)
  • Walk in High heels (trucker-like mosey becomes sassy shimmy through beer goggles)
  • Make loud, inappropriate comments at any social gathering (but seriously, doesn’t that guy look like that one guy I slept with 4 years ago, and then NEVER REMEMBER HIS NAME?)
  • Flirt shamelessly with bartenders so as to be served faster (did you know bartenders are almost never hit on by drunk women?)
  • Have meaningful conversations with people I’ve just met.

Things I’ve decided I do far, far WORSE after a few drinks:

  • Cook. Anything.
  • Clean my bathroom
  • Pick out porn (just…don’t ask)
  • Leave coherent voicemails


    Yesterday, I finally decided to bite the bullet and buy new running shoes. I figured a complete lack of cloth inside my shoe was reason enough to shell out. I’m happy to spend about $60 on good running shoes. How much did I actually spend? Oh, $213 for two pairs of shoes WITH (that’s right WITH) a buy-one-get-one-half-off-sale. Yeah. Prior to this, the most I’ve ever paid for a pair of shoes: $50 for a beautiful pair of boots. I hate shopping, and I hate salespeople. After being ignored and disdained in one store, I was really primed for the sweet talking salesguy at the second store. As soon as I bought the shoes, I felt such buyer’s remorse, I almost cried. It took Xtian barking at me to suck it up and shut it for me to finally just let it go. I still feel like as ass about the whole thing. Did I have two hundred dollars to spend on SHOES? No, of course not. I have about 14 things that I should have bought before I bought shoes (not the least of which would be new brakes for my truck, winter clothing that doesn’t expose my ever-expanding gut, or even better JUST DUMP IT IN THE SAVINGS ACCOUNT), but whatever. And then I started beating myself up about my selfish buying practices. And how will I ever be a good mother when I blow obscene amounts of money on stupid crap?!?!

    But I’ll be damned if this morning’s run wasn’t the best run ever.

    I happened upon my old roommate on one of those networking websites. I haven’t seen or heard from her in over 3 years. But I still feel weird about seeing her profile. I don’t know why I feel like I’m in competition with her. But, I do. I guess it’s that old “the best revenge is in living well.” And I do live well. I have a good job, live in a cute home with adorable kitties, have an amazingly wonderful husband, incredible friends, and after much time, a great relationship with my family. I’m finally at the point in my life I always wanted more than anything: trying for babies. At 24 years of age, I’m fully where I want to be.
    So, why do I feel uncomfortable? Is this how I will always feel because I never got the closure I so desperately needed?
    Oh, fuck it. I’m tired of analyzing how everything FEELS. I’m not letting that passive aggressive, borderline-psychotic people-using bitch have this much control over my soul.

    At least, until the next time I’m unexpectedly confronted with her.


    Final notes: If you haven’t seen Little Miss Sunshine yet, please do so. Just beautiful, and funny, full of broken people. By the end, I was laughing with tears streaming down my face. I think I’m in love with Toni Collette even more.

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