Friday, November 11, 2005

I don't want to work, I want to bang on my drums all day!

Ah, another week's end. Thank the lord. Or something.

Here's why I'm a sucker:

Tuesday night the phone rings. The person on the other end is on a cell phone getting less-than-great reception. I hear something about craiglist and apartment. Since I've been apartment hunting, I think nothing of it and make affirmative murmurs encouraging them on. It's a woman, and she keeps saying something about a one-bedroom. But, we aren't looking for one bedrooms. Weird. Then she says "I'm coming in from Arizona, can I come by tomorrow?" Why would she come here to show me the apartment? It slowly dawns on me. This person is coming to see the apartment where I live now. This poor woman explained to me three times how she got my phone number. That's right, Landlord put MY phone number in HER advertising to fill the apartment when I move out. This is the first I've heard of this, so I apologize to the woman, tell her I'm not sure what's going on, and to talk to Landlord.

I call Landlord, as per usual she doesn't answer her phone. So I leave a message, "Hi, this is Coley, your tenant. I just got a phonecall that I'm a little confused on. I'm NOT showing the apartment for you. I'm not sure why you would think that, and I'm really confused as to what is happening here. Please call me back."

Late the next day, Landlord calls me back, apologizes for the confusion and says, "well, it's really too far for me to come and show the apartment to EVERYONE who inquires. So, could you just do it?" And like a sucker, I agree.

Now, I don't want my Landlord snooping around my home when I'm gone, but I'm also not comfortable letting strangers in my home, with no better screening process than the completely flakey landlord's email exchanges. So, now I'm showing the apartment. I've become a realtor, as it turns out, and an unpaid one at that. At least I can be honest with people when they come to see it, so no one will be surprised the way I was.

When the first person showed up, I was making dinner and had already been on the phone with her for 10 minutes giving her directions. She's very nice, so I show her around a little bit, answer a few questions, and get honest with her.
Her: "So, is the landlord pretty good about fixing things?"
Me: (long silence while visibly holding back laughter) "well, I've found it easier to just fix things myself."
Her: "I noticed the kids in the courtyard earlier, are they always this loud?"
Me: "well, to be honest, sometimes there's not a peep all night. Othertimes, they're out running around at 2 am on Tuesdays."
Her: "Anything else I should know?"
Me: "well, I'm going to tell you this since I would have liked someone to tell me. There is an occassional bug problem."
Her: "oh, you mean like ants?"
Me: "no, I mean more like Cockroaches. I'm obsessively clean, but every few months, they start showing up and it's gross."
Her: "Oh. My. Well, yeah, that's pretty gross."

So, needless to say the odds of anyone I show the apartment to renting are slim to none. Fuck you Landlord. Fuck you long and hard.

I'm sad and lonely today. My Jen is off at a wonderful horse clinic all weekend and I'm without a workday chatting buddy. *sniff* But I got to hang with her last night for the first time in weeks. I love our chick time. Some time to get caught up on my gossip, talk ad nauseum about Xtian and how cute/sweet he is (seriously, the man is fabulous. If only he liked chocolate and had infinite amounts of wealth, he'd be perfect. Not that he isn't perfect...backpedaling, backpedaling.), hear all about someone else's life and just generally chat all night. I miss that girl. Sure, we talk online all day, everyday but there are some things that just aren't done justice by typing them out.


Holy Crap!! It's a Friday evening, and I won't be here late!! AMAZING!!! It's almost too good to be true. In fact, I'd better stop talking about it. Wouldn't want to jinx it....


Oh, so just a quick note to the Governor of this state: HAHHAHAHHAHAHAH!!! You crazy bastard! You held an election, and the only things that passed were bills banning the sale of ALL GUNS and RESTRICTING MILITARY RECRUITING!! I think saying that you failed miserably would be an understatement. To say that California is so tired of conservatives in general and YOU in particular should be obvious now. So, shutup, learn to play nice with the legislature (whom WE elected to protect and serve US) and stop being a bitch.

Thanks, I feel much better now.

Happy Friday, and peace out!

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