Thursday, October 13, 2005

Dial One for the Operator

*sigh* There really is nothing like a good phonetree. I spent my morning and early afternoon fighting with computers and production applications, and my afternoon dealing with the creators of evil phonetrees: Insurance companies.

Who decided this was easier than having 10 people who answer and transfer calls? "Hmm, I know our customers appreciate talking to humans, and really it takes less time for them when they get to use actual words to describe why they are calling. But let's try this: put in an automated system with 4 total categories of possible call-purposes. Then, we'll subdivide. Then subdivide again. We'll use terms that make no sense to our customers so they have to hang up and redial and renavigate the system two or three times. Then, after all that, if anyone is left on the line, we'll give them a customer service rep who asks them questions, which the caller already answered via the phonetree. It'll be excellent!! No one will ever call here again! Muwahahahhahah! Customer satisfaction be damned!!!!"

I'm pretty sure that was the thought process. Phonetrees were invented by sadists. I'll bet you they record everything that happens while you go through the phone tree, so when you're screaming "Just give me a fucking person!!! I just need to check my eligibility for FUCK'S SAKE!!!!" they are laughing their asses off and mutually masturbate eachother.


Wow, didn't know I had so much pent up aggression at phonetrees.

I think it's time to go home now. Have a fabulous evening.

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