Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Holy Traffic incidents, Batman!

Ok, this must be shared. I don’t own a cell phone. Yes, I’m a luddite, and I know everyone says once you have one you wondered how you lived without it and blah blah blah. Whatever. So, I’ve mentioned that the office I work in is REALLY corporate and REALLY quiet. It’s so quiet, you can hear everyone in the suite type, you know what everyone is eating for lunch, and what cologne everyone prefers (answer to the cologne preference quiz on this floor: apparently any cologne will do, as long as you wear a minimum of 8 fl. Oz a day). So, we are talking major “no personality zone.” Many people, myself included, listen to music using headphones, but no one would dare play music without the headphones. Today, out of nowhere Heart is blasting. I assume someone is rocking out to Crazy On You, and start to look around at who the asshole is rocking out publicly in this creepily-quiet office. Then, just as quickly as it started, it stopped and some woman is talking. Oh. My. God. Someone has a Heart cell phone ring. I am so impressed. I may have to buckle and buy one.

And I thought my sister had the top ring tone with “Push It.” She’s been replaced as “Queen of Coolest Cell Phone Ring.” The Queen is dead. Long live the Queen.


I have a lot of dislike for many of my coworkers. They aren’t bad people, just rather….icky to work with. (Grammar be damned!) However, my former boss DW has been wonderful. He’s kind and elegant, and is tremendously understanding about everything. Last Friday we celebrated his 15th anniversary with the company. That’s a big deal, right? Several people came to this luncheon, and they were all women. Literally, it was DW and like 10 strong, don’t-fuck-with-me kinds of women. Impressive. I’ve always loved men who appreciate strong women. While we’re at lunch, the conversation gets a little less than “corporate.” Discussions of former VP’s who bragged about their vibrator collections and picking out their wife’s new breasts (ewwwwww), executives who dressed like a polyester Elvis circa 1971 and thought they exuded sex appeal etc.

The conversation is getting funny, and everyone is having a good time. Loud raucous laughter abounds. Then someone mentions a coworker they had when DW first started working there. DW takes the lead on this story and recounts, in tones of disbelief and disdain, this coworker who underwent gender reassignment therapy to “become a woman.” With much rolling of eyes DW adds “he turned into a girl to have a lesbian relationship with his girlfriend.”

At that moment, it all stopped being funny. While gender reassignment is not something that mainstream society likes to talk and think about, it’s someone’s choice and fuck you for treating it with disrespect. No one thought twice about you marrying your wife, so why the fuck do you get to determine what someone else does is “weird?” I hate that shit. Now I’m way less impressed with my former boss.


Xtian has been using my truck to drive out to his new job site. While I’m still uncomfortable with anyone other than me driving my truck, it was a necessity and I trust him, for the most part.

He just called. He only worked a half day since the job was essentially finished. He was leaving about the same time I got in the shower. Within three blocks of our home, he got a speeding ticket. Ok, that shit happens. It makes me irritated, but it happens. He tells me this while apologizing ad infinitum. I take a deep breath and say “It’s fine, shit happens.” We chat for a few more minutes, then he tells me that he got run off the road by some ass on a cell phone. He further describes the circumstances, tells me he’s fine, and my truck is fine, but they had to pull my truck out of a ditch. What?!?

I’ve almost been run off the road on a handful of occasions, and granted, the streets where he was driving are mountainous and very narrow. The way he described it instead of both cars moving over to the side of the road, the other car just kept coming at him until he steered off the road, then my truck slid into a ditch.

I know it’s not his fault, and even with both mishaps, he was only 10 minutes late for work. But since I feel like he doesn’t deserve to get yelled at, I’m going to bitch here.

IT’S CALLED PULLING THE FUCK OVER AND STOPPING UNTIL THE OTHER CAR PASSES!! Yes, ideally, both cars would move to the extreme far sides of the road, but when that’s not happening, YOU STOP!! AAAAARGHHHHHHH!!! I’m so never going to be comfortable with him driving my car again.

I hate to be bitter about this, because it could have been worse. If he had been hurt, I’d be devastated. It my truck had been damaged, I would have been pissed. And neither of those happened. So, really, I’m grateful. But I’m also grateful that he doesn’t have to use my truck to drive to work anymore. I feel much more comfortable with it staying parked in my garage all day while I’m at work.

On top of all of this, traffic tickets ain’t cheap in the Bay Area. So, what little money he had coming to him is going to be even less. Oh goody. I’m totally screwed financially this month with nothing about to step in and intervene. I had hoped that him getting a job would help in this situation. So far, it’s cost a lot of money. Shit.

So, I’m finally supposed to have my meeting with my new boss in like 20 minutes. That is, assuming I don’t get flaked on…again. I’m so done with my position as “peon” being reinforced daily. I get it. I’m at the bottom of the food chain. I’m so unimportant; you need not even notice my existence. I am to be ignored until you need me to do some bullshit work for you. I get it.

The funniest thing was CB telling me to use this meeting to “educate” the new lady boss about my qualifications and how I’m not a secretary. I love it. It amuses me to no end.
(PS I may have completely talked about all this in a previous post, but my email is down, and I don’t have a lot going on right now. Bare with me.)

Not really sure where this is going, so I'll just say goodbye.

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