Monday, August 8, 2005

Boyfriends and Sisters and Mental Illness...Oh my!

So, just in case people were worried (yeah, because I know my random freak-outs are just haunting your daily existence) Xtian is fine, he's home with nary a nasty incident. He was kept waiting for several hours at the office, and by the time he was done, he just wanted to get home. I understand that, but at the time was ready to annihilate him.

I sat at work now fully in the Coley's Completely Lost Her Mind phase. I'm not even pretending to pay attention to anything else. I keep calling home, then his old house just in case. At 4 Jen (who will no longer be known as CoWorker Friend Jen, since she jumped ship and got out of the hell that is this department) other Coworker named Jennifer and I were going for Last Day of This Job Drinks. I called my house, left a message for Xtian saying that we were going for drinks and, if he gets back in time, to join us. Jen, Jen and I hang out drinking and shooting pool for a couple of hours, meanwhile I'm now sure that Xtian is either dead or in jail, and I'm going to have to figure out how to fix that with no car and no access to my bank account, and by staying out with the girls, I'm just putting off hearing the bad news.

I left the bar, got halfway home and realized that I left my credit card at the bar. So I walk back, I'm totally agitated now. I can't even pretend to make a normal face as I walk back home, again. I'm a few blocks from the house, when Xtian appears on the street. I can not describe the relief that flooded my being. I grabbed him, hugged him and lectured him all at the same time. Now that I'm not worried anymore, I'm angry. Clearly.

So after he apologizes 400 times, and fully grasped exactly how freaked I was all day, we went to dinner with my friend Jen and her gentleman friend, Chris. Since we had our boys there to drive us home, Jen and I spent the entire night just POUNDING the wine. We were trashed. And it was fabulous. Oh, lord we were pretty haggard. Our poor men-folk. They must have been so annoyed with us.

So, when Xtian and I returned home, we tried to watch Team America: World Police. And can I just say: WHY THE HELL DID ANYONE WATCH THIS MOVIE? I've long had a suspicion that the makers of South Park are Republicans. This movie has clinched it. For those apt to argue with me on this point, look at every episode of South Park that deals with a party-line-divisive issue. Ignore everything except what comes out at the end. The stem cell research episode: Gene Hackman and Christopher Reeves are monsters who feed on fetal cells. Yeah, RE-PUB-LICK-CANS.

But anyhow, this movie had a couple of funny things: 1. The Theme song begins with "America, Fuck Yeah." While I in now way echo this sentiment, the song is just hilarious, because this is literally America's foreign policy right now.
2. Matt Damon is portrayed as either mentally handicapped (if that's what they were going for, I renounce the fact it is funny) or just utterly stupid. If it's the latter, this is hilarious.

That's enough on the Coley Reviews Movies Months After Everyone Else on the Planet Sees Them front.

More than a week into the living together thing and here's where we are at:
Still good.

In fact, children talk hasn't completely freaked him out yet. It must be love. (And when I say "Children talk" I'm talking about my absurd desire/need to have dozens of children NOW. So the fact that he's not run off yet, is a very good thing. And hugely surprising.)

The only part I'm bothered by is this: His mother still does not know fully about me. Oh, she knows that Xtian has a roommate named Coley, but she does not know that this has gone beyond the realm of platonic. A few notes: Xtian is the oldest son of a single woman. He's never lived with a significant other before, so this is all new, and he has no idea how she may react. I understand. She's HIS mother, and he knows how best to handle her. At the same time: this hurts me a little. I know he hasn't told her because he's afraid of how she'll react. But, in my crazy little head he hasn't told her because he is desperately ashamed of me and doesn't want people to know about me. You know, relationships would be much easier for me, if I weren't completely freaking nuts.

So, workday #1 without Jen. It sucks. It's all freakishly quiet around here. I'm schvitzing, I can hear other people BREATHING. At least my desk location is so far removed from everyone else, most people are leaving me alone. Which is why this is a ridiculously long entry. I miss you, girl! I hope you are having fun in San Diego!


My older sister is flying in tonight. I'm excited and a little nervous. I haven't spent good sister time with her since....well, I don't know how long. The last time we saw eachother, there was some drama. I was in Chico for my brother's high school graduation and to plan my wedding (natch!). My sister Jenn (at least this Jennifer spells her shortened name differently) doesn't believe in marriage, and seemed less than supportive of my marrying a white man. So, drama ensued, which never really got sorted out, but became a moot point when the relationship died. So, I never really know what to expect. I love my sister, and I have nothing but respect for her principles and am proud of her for always standing up for what she believes in. But...sometimes, I wish she could just turn it off for a little while and relax. I usually don't write about these feelings in here, because I know she tends to read it, and I don't want to hurt her or anything. But, the whole point of this thing is to be honest. So, my intention is not to hurt anyone, ever. I just want to vent some concerns before she gets here.

For the most part, I just miss my sister. The more time I spend with my family, the more important they all become to me. I think I'm officially getting old. Weird.

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