Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit

So, apparently, I’m not as bright as I like to think. I’ve been doing Jen’s job for three days (one full day of which was spent unpacking, so doesn’t really count) and I’ve totally fucked at least two things. Nice. At least no one has called to yell at me. This is good. I’m so stressed that I can’t seem to get my shoulders away from my ears. I think this may be the reason my neck/shoulder area bares a great resemblance to Bill Romanowski. Poor Xtian has to listen to me whine and bitch all the way home. He’s holding up well to the onslaught of yuck, though. So maybe he’s tougher than I thought. Any man who can listen to me rant for longer than 20 minutes, then still ask “anything else you need to get out?” is just peaches and cream in my book.

But, I think I’ve got the bulk of it under control. Hopefully. Maybe? Oy.

So, my sister is in town. Poor girl had the misfortune to spend the night in the beautiful (read: ewwwwww) Atlanta airport. Super sweet. But after 24 straight hours of travel, she finally got here yesterday morning. The shitty thing is, Xtian is getting way more quality time with her than I am. Stupid job! Is it too late to find a sugar daddy? I think I could handle being a kept woman for a few months. Sure, I might lose all self-respect, but I’d have so much free time. *sigh* Anyhow, tonight we go for Sisters Only Drinks. Should be delightful. The nice thing is, even Jenn likes Xtian. I wasn’t really concerned, because he’s just fabulous (not that I’m biased or anything) but Jenn has some high standards for the people she likes, and she likes him. Hurray!

So, I officially work in Dilbertland: obnoxiously quiet cubes from which I can hear when 15 different people breathe. Let alone speak on the phone, or chitchat. If it weren’t for a new set of headphones, I’d probably have been arrested for murder (or at the least assault/battery) by Tuesday morning. Here’s what kicks ass, I’m facing a window. Even better: my view goes all the way across the Bay Bridge to San Francisco.

I miss Jen (the friend formerly known as coworker Jen). I just sit quietly all day in my little cube, I don’t talk to anyone unless they call me, or come to ask me some inane question, request that I do something completely outside the realm of acceptable etc. Am I being just a little bitchy? Of course I am. It’s me, The Queen of All Things Mood Swing. I used to look forward to work, if for no other reason than Jen and I making fun of anything and everything, IMing each other every 5 minutes to share something totally ridiculous. When something irritating happened, I could run into her office, shut the door and vent for a few minutes while she would laugh at me. *sniff* Like I said Queen of All Things Mood Swing.

WARNING! Very explicit discussion of genitalia to follow. If you continue reading, you may experience a distinct feeling of TMI, Overshare etc. So, for those with weak constitutions, please just scroll to the end of this section.

Finally (or not) Another Installment of: Vagina Dialogues!
Yes, the much awaited (or completely feared return of) tales from my vagina. So, I think I’m on the verge of a UTI. That or my vagina is totally broken. Either way, I’m not happy about it. You know, you try to do everything right, eat well, drink water, wear cotton panties or nothing at all, keep it all clean, and still your body decides that it hates you. Suck-Tastic.

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