Friday, June 3, 2005

Watch the moods fly!

I'm moody. I've always been moody, there is no rhyme or reason to it, my moods just fluctuate. Yesterday, inexplicable bad mood. No cause, just bad mood. I had planned to go home, have a few stiff drinks, and sprawl on my couch. Luckily, Jen had other ideas. Instead, we took BART to her house, and went to eat street tacos and drink beer. Throughout the BART ride, short walk and up to sitting down to food, I just felt the ickiness melt away. Amazing this power of friends.

We decided to eat outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. As we walk outside, I notice a group of young teenage boys. The first word I hear from them is "faggot" yelled really loudly with all the bravado a 14-year-old can muster. I turned to Jen and said, "if that continues, I'm going to have to say something to them." We sit down and are getting settled in, and I can hear the boys shouting (because, they are the only people there, right?) about various illegals. I'm not a teetotaler. I've had my fun and done my "experimenting." But what you don't do is loudly talk about the activities you are actually doing at the time. That's just foolish. But this is exactly what they are doing. They are cutting lines on the table.


Here's the thing. I don't care what you do at your home, in your car, or even under the freeway overpass. But now, you are in public. Let's show a little...consideration for others. I do not need to watch 14 year olds "experiment" while I try to eat my dinner.

Jen requested we move our party indoors. Once inside, I asked Jen if we should call police, but that would entail talking to cops and filing reports and who needs that? Instead I went to one of the employees and told her that there were some illegal activities going on outside that the management may want to be aware of. She looked at me strangely, asked me to repeat myself. I then went back to the table, and enjoyed my meal. A few moments later a couple of the larger employees asked the kids to leave. Then immediately come over to my table and ask what was going on, I relate what we saw. Great. Now these dumbass kids know exactly who the narc is.

Who knew that I would become that mean old lady who's out to ruin people's fun? When did I become this "adult?" But at the time all I was thinking about was how innappropriate their behavior was. Craziness.

Talked to Xtian last night. Overall, it was good to talk to him. But it always reminds me that something has to give. I know I am not able to do long distance very well. Bah!

He also told me that his roommates "had a talk" with him after "hearing everything" the last time I was there. That's what a girl likes to hear. This totally makes me want to go back and spend any amount of time at his house. You know, every man I've been with has claimed to love the fact that I'm loud and make no secret that I'm enjoying it. But hearing comments from housemates ("Next time you gotta stick a sock in it." Charming, no?) makes me wish I were one of those frigid women who don't like sex, and so lay there thinking about shopping. At least the only rude comment was made by the housemate who openly dislikes me. Makes me believe that it's just him not liking me that makes him say things like that.

Why is it that some people just have this inexplicable dislike for me? There are people I don't really care for either, but open disdain? Even I don't go that far. I can still be civilized. And it's always men who treat me like this. All of Sarah's male friends hate me, my old roommate's male friends used to hate me, and now Xtian's housemate hates me. Am I really all that bad? I know I'm a little loud at times (Ok, I'm loud all the time, I'll admit it) but I'm fun, and nice, and usually I get along with anyone and everyone.

Here is a convenient explanation (I like it because it completely lets me off the hook):
I'm not what anyone would call a "traditional" woman. I don't like to shop, I don't do makeup, I'm not quiet and demure. I am open, can talk football with the best of them, am smart and don't pretend not to be, and I like sex. Some men are really threatened by a woman who doesn't need a man. And while I enjoy men, I don't need one. My theory is that these men are not very successful with women, at least smart women, and so take it out on me. If these men were getting laid, they would not be so hostile to me. My theory: they are all gay, but afraid to admit it, so they take it out on women who are....oh what is the word...challenging to their conceptions of gender. Because, if I can be like this and still be a woman, maybe that makes it ok for them to be different too, and that's a scary thing for people living in a less than gay-friendly environment.

So, as you can see, nothing could possibly be my fault.


This is freaking ridculous.
The Llama Song Let's face it, anything having to do with llamas is worth it's weight in gold.


So my aunt is coming to visit this weekend. Well, really she's visiting her son who is in a rehab clinic in San Francisco (Hurray for the awesomeness that is my family!). She hasn't laid eyes on him since he entered rehab, December 2003. I can't even imagine. So, yeah, emotional weekend stretching ahead of me with nothing on the other end of it, except another week of my "going nowhere" job, then two more weeks before anything really fun gets to happen. I'm so looking forward to my life.

In addition to my aunt visiting, she's bringing her new boyfriend. I've only met the guy once, and while he seems nice enough, I didn't get a good vibe from him. I'm a little nervous about having this guy hanging out at my apartment all weekend. What the hell am I going to do with this guy? If my aunt were coming alone, we could just sit around and have a few drinks, but now I feel all awkward. And I just remembered I've got some pictures that should probably not be on display. You put one picture of yourself getting pierced and everyone fixates on it. While normally this doesn't bother me, (hell, I spent all of college showing people various body parts in exchange for free entry into any/every party) this guy looking at it would weird me out.

I think heavy drinking is the modus operandi for the weekend.

So, what's the difference from any/every other weekend?

So, this posting was written over the course of a few hours at work. Notice the 9 mood changes? Yeah, me too. Someone medicate me, please!

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