Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Resurgence of dates, hot psuedo-dates, assholes who call me, I'd rather sleep with you than have to talk to you

It’s really bizarre. I realize that by having this thing online that anyone can read it. I guess it just never occurred to me that anyone ever would. So, it came as a surprise to see a comment on one of my posts. And it wasn’t from my sister (Hi girl!).

So, I’ve grown bored of my dates. One is just boring and the other is interesting, but old and had the gall to call me out of the blue on Sunday to ask “Just seeing if you were interested in getting together to have sex.” Oh yeah. Absolutely. Mind you, I haven’t called him in three-four weeks, and also haven’t heard from him since then either. I was taken aback at first, but managed to recover saying mumbling something about having family plans etc. He apologized for the late notice and said he’d call later in the week.

I was thrilled to have just kind of mutually drifted off. Now this forces an awkward conversation when he calls back. I envision it going something like this:

I answer the phone, hear his voice and immediately curse myselffornot checking the caller-ID. At least three stretches of uncomfortable silence, two or three minutes of forced chit-chat, wherein I will stress how busy I’ve been, he’ll make some kind of reference to the lack of time off he’s had. He’ll eventually ask if I’m up for getting together for our rain checked sex. I’ll hem and haw for a while and either be a total pushover and say that I’m busy or something like “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I’ve kind of being seeing someone (mostly lie, more on this later) and I don’t feel comfortable with this. Oh, I’m still in the book group, right?”

I’m not sure where the conversation goes after that, but probably somewhere really awkward. How have I become so unwilling to state my needs and wants that rather than have that conversation, I’m more likely to just sleep with him? Honestly, I’d rather just have sex with most people than have that awkward “you think I’m into this too, but really, I’d rather just go to bed and never see you again.” I’ve done it before, as shown in the happenings at Halloween.
So, back to the “someone” I’m “kind of seeing.” This would be the guy who lives in Chico. There’s been a lot of phone-flirting and some discussion of him visiting me in Oakland.

The good things:

  • He’s hot,
  • He’s hot, but is not aware that he is hot (the perfect combination)
  • I think I actually like him,
  • Definitely a lot of chemistry there (at least on my end, screw what he feels)

The Bad

  • Lives in Chico
  • Is kind of in the stoner community
  • No opportunity for normal “getting to know you” activities, would go straight from talking on the phone to weekend visits
  • Did I mention that he lives in CHICO?
  • I have no idea where he is in life (still looking for himself? Pretty good with his work life, looking for more? Ready for the kids?)

So, as we see, I am conflicted. Finally someone I feel attracted to, and enjoy his company, and he lives 3 hours away. If we know one thing about me, it’s that I love nudity. If we know two things about me, it’s that I am rather high-maintenance in relationships. Not that I’m all that needy, but damn, if you are my sig ot of the moment, you need to be there.
(Random Tangent: someone just called me and started talking to me mid-conversation. At the first breath she took, I told her, I’m not the person to be speaking with about this. I have no idea what you are talking about. She continued talking for FIVE MORE MINUTES! I’ve lost the ability to be polite. I’ll be nice the first time, but after that, if I have to tell you again, the Bitch comes out.)
Lessons learned today:

  1. I am absolutely spineless when it comes to breaking off relationships with casual dates
  2. I am shocked and amazed when I discover one person has read our little page here
  3. Apparently, the guys I am attracted to, will always be stoners (which I never used to have a problem with, but damn, it’s time to grow up people) and completely inaccessible to me
  4. I have no problem being a complete bitch to stranger, but can’t assert myself with even casual acquaintances
  5. I’d rather have mediocre-to-bad sex with someone than have an awkward conversation (although, in my defense, the sex takes WAY less time)
  6. I love nudity. All the time. Anywhere.

There may be another post today, I’m feeling rather chatty. We’ll see what the rest of the day brings.

In the immortal words of Kip “I’m late to take my lady out for a prime-rib dinner. Peace out.”

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