Monday, January 24, 2005

Two trips Home and Dates on a Schoolnight

So my baby brother moved back from Milwaukee. Which means no more ties to the frozen wasteland for me! And my brother is now only a couple of hours away. I've lived with a lot of people in the last 5 years, but he is my all-time favorite roommate. As moody and bitchy as we both are, we get eachother. It's good to have him home after six months of not seeing him at all. Now all I have left is to get my older sister out of Pennsylvania and I'll be set. (Yeah, I know, I'm being a selfish brat, but I miss my sibs!)

Anyhow, back to the point. My brother will be needing a car, once he gets his driver's license. So my dad asked me to bring an engine from Oakland up to Chico so that they could get an old car working for him. Turns out that engine didn't work, so the next weekend I'm hauling another engine. What do you know, the first engine works, the second one isn't needed, so I have an engine living in the back of my truck until someone tells me what to do with it. Fun fun. I keep hoping someone will steal it from my truck, but so far, no takers.

In other news, more dates with Wahab. I have no idea what's going on with that. I feel like I'm being given "Ignorant American" tests. And I have no idea if I'm passing or not. How weird is it that I'm comfortable having sex with someone, but not telling them that I'm not spending the night because his snoring allows me zero sleep? I have no problem prancing around naked, but can't seem to really allow myself to enjoy a new "like" interest. It's like I'm so afraid of being neurotic, that I'm becoming a basket case. Not a very good exchange. I feel like I'm not allowed to call him, because the only times I invited him (ok, in all honesty, both times) to do something, he's not been able to. And for good reasons, his mother being in town, and it being a religious holiday that I (another Ignorant American test I think I failed) wasn't aware of. As you can see, I just have terrible timing. But for some reason in my head, that turns into, I'm nothing but a booty call whom he is embarrassed about. I know this is not the case. I know it. But, I'm still just a little insane and not so much trusting of others, men in particular.

And there is always the age difference. I feel good about the age difference. But I keep wondering if he feels weird about it. I know my mother does, but the woman (bless her little heart) will never say anything to me about it. The difference, I'm about to be 23 and he's going to be 30 in a couple months.

Actually this, in theory, sounds perfect to me. I've always been an old soul (or as my mom would say, I'm actually 93 years old, don't let the youthful appearance fool you). And I'm getting to the point where I'm wanting to settle down and get a family together. Not that I'm dying to be a bride or anything. Marriage is not necessary for me. But kids are. But I don't think it's time for this kind of talk with Wahab. You think?

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