Monday, January 10, 2005

An End and a....Beginning?

So, I know it looks like these last two entries were posted on the same day, but the first one has been trying to post since Friday, so really, I’m not a pathetic person with nothing better to do than post inane blog entries. Really.

So, now that you know the back story (at least the most recent section) I can move forward. Yesterday marked the six month anniversary of me leaving my ex. Last night was also date #3 with, we’ll call him, Wahab (sp?) for that is his name. We’ve yet to actually leave his apartment, but aside from that, things seem to be moving along smoothly. It’s weird, I feel like this should be a rebound thing, but Mike was a rebound thing from the guy before him. We see how well I rebound.

This is when I see my psychosis come out. I’m trying not to be neurotic, but dating is agony. It turns people into absolute nutcases. “Is he going to call, should I call? Who called whom last? Is it too soon since our last date to call?” Oi, I just don’t have the energy. In less than a month, I’ll be 23 years old. Frankly, I never figured I’d make it that long. I know, 23 is not old. In fact it is still quite young, but it feels old. I feel old. Considering I was, for all intents and purposes, married for a few years and raising a teenager, I feel forty-odd years old. Not cool.

How did I become this serial monogamist? I have no idea, but I kind of don’t care anymore. I’ve spent too much time trying to figure myself out. And here’s what I’ve come up with:

Sure, my parents inevitably screwed me up, the same way every parent screws up their kid. I got physical really young, but was in love, (no, really I was, and probably still am a little today) with a guy who would never do anything with his life, but loved me. Six or so years, on again off again. College killed this one. Which was good. Had a few random flings and relationships in college, none of which should have lasted more than a few days, although some did. Enter Mike, we were together almost three years when it ended. All and all, I haven’t been single since I was 13. Almost a decade of constant boyfriend-ness. The last six months have been awesome. A little scary at first, but I’m enjoying it.

To his credit, Wahab knows the basics of my past and has not run screaming for the hills. (Think about it, you’re on a date with a 22 year old who was ENGAGED, then dumped and ran. That sounds like a lot of baggage). I have no idea what the future will bring, but for now, I’m going to continue dating a beautiful man who has a thing for my backside. Although, with a ghetto-booty like this, who can blame him. (I hope you all recognize sarcasm when you see it typed in front of you.)

Anyhow, I’ve got to get myself to work now. To quote the great Dr. Zemler, “Tallyhoe!”

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