Thursday, November 13, 2008

More Morning Follies

Since starting the new job, I've decided to start being the professional I want to be. That means taking a little effort with my clothes, my hair, even putting on a little make up in the morning. I pretty much suck at all thing "Femme" so I went the easy route when it came to foundation and picked up this stuff that is supposed to match your ideal skin tone. It starts off as white with little silver beads in it, and shifts to a skin color while you smear it on. (I can't imagine what horrible things are in it that make it do such a thing, but that's another issue). And up until two days ago, it worked gorgeously. My skin was a little nicer looking while still looking vaguely like my own skin tone.

Like I said, until two days ago. When I squirted the stuff out of the tube, it was kind of clumpy, but whatever. I started smearing it around my face and had turned to pull out my eyeliner when I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror. Tangerine Orange. Fake Tans of the 80's orange. Horrifyingly ORANGE. Apparently this stuff was past it's "sell by" date. Thanks for the warning, assholes!

So, with two minutes to remove any hint of Oompa Looompa from my face, I grabbed a tissue, rubbed most of that crap off my face, called it good and ran out the door with my face a decidedly different color than my neck. Hot.

So, a trip to Target later, I'm the proud owner of some new mineral foundation makeup. I haven't quite figured out he trick to getting enough on to be worthwhile (and maybe pretend I don't have the skin of a 17-year old pizza delivery guy) without putting so much on that people start looking to see if that's an Adam's apple I'm hiding.

I need classes on how to be a girl.


dreadpiratecuervo said...

For me, the powdered foundation is pretty much just about not being shiny. That said, I only wear make once or twice a month. I like Bare Escentuals Mineral Vail & some black mascara on the rare occassion I want to look like I've made an effort but without full make-up.

jen breese said...

You need a no drinking while reading sign when you are funny. :)

Good thing it didn't stain and stay on your face. :) I second dreadpiratecuervo on the Bare Escentuals. It is easy to use and doesn't look made-up.


faithstwin said...

Ugh- I have that stuff and I just can't use it! Even though Drew Barrymore swears by it, when I put it on I suddenly look ridiculously tan (thank goodness I don't turn orange) and there is NO WAY it looks natural NOR like my skin tone.

I usually do some cover up and then use powder to polish my face off. I'm more about doing my hair nicely and making my eyes stand out with some eye make up and mascara.