Monday, August 18, 2008

Allowing myself to be negative...

..For once. Oh wait, not so much.

So, the new daycare is...different. Look, it isn't Nana, and I'm having a hard time with it. It's pure chaos. I'm totally overwhelmed from the second I walk in the door, so I can't even imagine how wigged out Warren is. We've spent a couple hours a day over there for the last few days, and it's not gotten any better. Warren sobs from the moment I leave until I come back. Oh, except for today, when he stopped crying for 20 minutes because he was....watching TV.

I know. I'm kind of a crunchy granola kind of mama. I don't want my not-quite-8-months-old kid glued to a TV, I don't feed him any processed foods, we use cloth diapers and usually cloth diaper wipes and we have maybe two toys that make noise. The joke is that we're raising him as though we're Amish. But you know, is that so bad? I like that my kid is mellow and doesn't need someone entertaining him all the time. I like that he's perfectly happy with a rattle and a cuddly ducky toy.

The thing is, the place is fine. It's just not what I'm used to, and it's certainly not what Warren's used to. My childrearing philosophy is at odds with the new lady's. I'm more of a let them figure it out, even if it takes longer, teach them to make good choices, rather than "obeying". And she's more of a "here let me do it, you aren't doing it right. Do what I tell you because I told you," kind of person. Nothing wrong with that, it's just not how I want to raise my kid.

I tried to give the new lady some troubleshooting tips for Warren. He's the easiest kid you can imagine if you just know a few things: he gets overwhelmed by too many new people/places/sounds, if you just hold him for a few minutes he adjusts much faster to new circumstances, once he gets wound up he won't calm down until you remove the extra stimuli, and he likes to do it himself.
And I also know that she needs to kind of figure out Warren's personality on her own. But damned if the second he started crying she's got 5 new toys with flashing lights and blaring sounds in his face trying to distract him. DUDE! We just talked about this. He needs a few minutes of quiet to calm himself. Not the equivalent of a 5-alarm fire thrown in his face.

I'm also really bad at confrontation. I've had some people treat me like I'm a child abuser when I tell them we don't let Warren watch TV. It's a real hot button issue for a lot of people. I don't give a shit how you're raising your kid. THIS is how I'm choosing to raise my kid. But it's that same parental judgment thing, where there's only ONE right way to raise a kid, so if you are doing something differently from me, one of us is wrong. So, I'm really not looking forward to telling the new lady that we DON'T want him watching TV. And I'm a little afraid to let her provide the foods he's going to be eating. Dear god, if there's a box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, or Ramen noodles in sight, I'm going to have a fit.

Realistically, I'm sure it's going to be fine. But Since I feel like crying everytime we leave, I'm venting my negativity here. It's insane, but there's a very real part of me that can't help believing that this disruption in his care is going to be what causes him to become completely unable to function in society. I KNOW it's insane, but it's not like you can just turn it off.

But, for better or worse, tomorrow morning, I have to leave my sweet baby in the care of a woman I'm not entirely comfortable with. I'll get over it, Warren will adjust and we'll all be fine. I'll just be crying quietly in my office for a few minutes.


jen said...

I know there is nothing to say to make you feel better. Here's a big hug. I'm thinking of you guys. Hopefully he won't be there long.

meghan...or is it? said...

You live in the Bay Area! I'm sure you can find a hippie day care before Warren eats solid food. I am in Milwaukee, plus the closest day cares to my work (I mean, this whole baby deal is LOOONG way off, but still) have names like Miss Chantelle's House of Totz.

Faith said...

When will this "no t.v." rule end, though? Because Leo's parents didn't let him watch t.v. when he was growing up, so there's a whole Cosby Show/Growing Pains/Three's Company void in his life that I can't even begin to comprehend. So for the health and sanity of Warren's future spouse, I'm pulling for you guys to at least let him watch some shit when he gets older!

But like jen, I know there's nothing we can say, except vent away, sista! We're here to listen, that's for damned sure.

Coley said...

God, this could so be it's own post. But, while you're right in theory, we also have to balance costs, driving distance (sucks to have to drive 20 miles in traffic before loading up for my retarded-ass commute anyway), and diversity of the daycare staff and kids. At least that's what's important to us right now. So, while I know there are crunchy granola centers, we've yet to find one with an open spot that meets our criteria. *sigh*
And can we talk about the cringe-worthy names of some of these places? The one our dude is in as I type is "MJ's Tender Lovin' Care Daycare." Just...yuck.

Faith, dont' you worry. He'll be allowed the TV once he's at least 2 years old. Plus, shows designed for "infants 6-12 months" are the creepiest things in the world.

Thirstin' for Thurstons said...

My only advice on the daycare thing is, you know your child the best. And you need to follow your instincts, if you need to keep looking or move to get your kid in a place that makes you both happy then thats what you do. I hope you will be OK!