Monday, November 19, 2007

Football, Casseroles, and COMPLETE BOREDOM!

With only two and a half days left before I head out on maternity leave, I’ve got nothing left to do. I prepared so well for my absence, that I’m actually superfluous this entire week. Spectacular.

This football season is officially depressing. My Raiders excel at losing, the goddamn Patriots with Tom “EVERYONE SUCKS BUT ME” Brady keep winning and all teams I wish death upon are all doing well. This is a load of bullshit. I wholly back the Raiders’ recruitment strategy from the 70s. In summary, the recruiters went to San Quentin and other prisons, grabbed a group of enormous, scary looking inmates and told them, “We’ll let you out to play football. But if you lose or screw up again, you’ll be right back here for the rest of your life.”

Now THOSE are some motivated football players!

So, I took my cat to the vet, and for the low low price of $220 I was told, “Well, I have no idea why she has bleeding sores all over her belly and legs. But why don’t you shove this liquid down her throat every night, and smear this foul-smelling goo on the sores 3 times a day and we’ll see if that works.”

When asked what would happen if it didn’t work, I was told, “In that case it might be cancer and we’ll have to do a biopsy and evaluate our options then.” So, hurray. If some goo and an antibiotic cost me $220, I can only imagine what biopsies and cancer treatment will run me. And of course I am making light of this situation because if I am forced to choose between keeping my cat alive and emptying my bank account/going into debt, it will probably be the death of me.

So, let’s all cross our fingers and hope this works. After a few days of chasing the cat around and trying to feed her medicine, which invariably ended with me in tears, begging my cat to just HELP ME HELP YOU! Xtian finally took over the dosing. And of course, for him, she sits still and it’s done within 2 minutes. She knows I’m a total sucker.

My mother would be so proud. On Saturday, Xtian and I drove out to visit my aunt and see my new baby cousin. And I couldn’t resist the Mormon Housewife urge to bring food. So, I made an enormous lasagna, complete with bake and toss packaging, and brought it out to her. (For those not familiar with Mormon Code Of Conduct, whenever someone is sick, having a hard time, or has had a new baby, YOU BRING A CASSEROLE! It’s so intrinsic, I don’t think we all even realize we do it. I’ve not been a practicing Mormon for more than a decade, and yet, there it is).

At first my aunt kind of looked at me funny when I shoved the dish in her fridge. But the phone call I got the next day assured me that she figured out just how awesome people bringing you food can be.

So, I got to indulge my impulses and watch Xtian melt into a pile of goo with my little baby cousin. Truly, the cutest thing you can imagine.

OK everyone: I’ve still got another hour or so of work left, and then two more days after this. That’s a total of…17 hours to fill. So, let’s all pull together and help me keep my sanity: BLOG. I don’t care if it’s an hour by hour recounting of a trip to the DMV. I need reading material, and I need it bad!

No comments: