Monday, April 30, 2007

Holy Crap! I'm really hungry. (How's that for a non sequitur?)

So the weekend was mostly delightful. We had a superfun Game Night on Saturday with friends, Sarah took us out for breakfast on Sunday, and I got to watch about 6 hours of Charmed. Just phenomenal. (Although, seriously? When does Shannen Doherty die? I’m really tired of looking at that bitch. I was sure it was during Season three, but I’m almost finished and SHE’S STILL ALIVE!)

Step Grandma is just as crazy as ever, and has decided that I’m her confidant when things are bothering her. So, I’m now fielding an average of 6 phone calls a week wherein she whines and complains and stresses out about things that DO NOT MATTER! She brought her daughter, (the bride and mother to be) to tears by ragging on her eating habits in front of the entire family. Yeah, because you know what’s good for pregnant ladies? A lot of stress and anxiety needlessly brought on by your own mother. Good stuff.

I think I may have finally gotten across to SG that while she’s allowed to worry, she’s NOT allowed to bother my aunt with that shit. The pregnant lady’s stress is far more detrimental to the baby than is the moderate amount of salt she’s eating. But, we’ll see if my lecture actually made an impact. On the plus side, she listened to my tactful lecture without hanging up on me, as she’s been known to do. So, maybe this wedding won’t be quite the shitstorm I’m fearing.

Who am I kidding? Every event our family touches involves someone getting lit on fire, someone cooking the main course without removing the plastic wrap, or someone getting blitzed and telling people some REALLY inappropriate things over the toast.


Over game night I told my oldest friend, Mel (er, the friend I’ve known the longest, rather) about Mocha Cub, and so it was all fun and delightful. Until her friend, whom I’ve also known for several years, started talking. Her friend, we’ll call her C, is not exactly couth, and has not lost that 20-year-old-I-know-everything arrogance.

So here’s how the conversation goes.

Coley: We’re having a baby!
Mel: YAY! Congratulations, I can’t believe it that’s awesome!
C: Congratulations…there’re so many pregnant women at my work, and man! Pregnant ladies are bitches.

Really? That’s what you thought it would be ok to say right now? Really?

Later in the evening C was giving us a dissertation on how “No Parents Have Any Idea What They Are Doing and Only I Know the Right Way to Raise Kids.”
Now I know that everyone is guilty of judging parents and saying some ignorant shit about, “My kids will NEVER be allowed to watch tv!” But, really this was too much. Any time someone says something that applies to “all” parents or babies, I call bullshit. When I attempted to say something to the effect of, “Well that may be true for some, but there’s a reason there are so many books written on the subject, kids react differently,” I was met with absolutism, “No. If something is tired, it will sleep. Parents are just stupid by running to their kid when they cry.” I’d like to watch her tell that to the parents of a 3 month old. I don’t think she’d make it out alive.

Not every child is the same, and so why would the exact same behavior training work on every kid? It won’t. I just love the arrogance, as though millions of people have been having children for millions of years, but ONLY C knows how to do it right. Especially since C does not have children of her own. And for those of us who have babysat, or teach children, that does NOT mean you know how to raise children.

It was just too much for Coley, and I had to leave the room.

This is not to say that C is a bad person. She’s generally lovely. But that whole arrogant naiveté is more than a little irritating.


Oh man, I know turnover is just a part of work, but it’s getting comical around here. In an office of about 70 people, I can think of 4 people who’ve left in the last 5 days. That’s a lot of people. I wonder when management figures out that reducing turnover, saves them money?

So, last week I mentioned Crazy MIL sending us bible workbooks. But what I forgot to mention (and Sarah pointed out to me) was that the other things she sent us, were photocopies of flyers that would be passed out on busy street corners. Like, she got a flyer, photocopied it and mailed it to her son. And these weren’t things that were useful. They were like, coupons for Los Angeles based businesses, or somebody’s bullshit political flyer.

I think Faith said it best: What does that MEEEAAN?

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