Friday, March 9, 2007

A few notes of note. Or not.

So, uh, remember when my back was hurting yesterday? And remember when I whined all day about my back hurting, and not knowing WHY my back decided to hurt? Let’s rewind to Wednesday Afternoon, shall we?

SCENE: My kitchen. I’m making dinner, Sarah’s chatting with me, and Xtian is popping in periodically to tease/grope me. Xtian surprises me from behind and tickles. I grab him by the arms and pull his body onto my back, suspending him in the air.

Me: “See?! You can’t fuck with me, I will destroy you!”
Sarah: “Ok, people with back problems shouldn’t be lifting their 230 pound husbands.”
Me: “My legs are doing all the heavy lifting here, Sarah. Geez, MOM!”
Sarah: “Well, when your back dies tomorrow, I’m going to remind you of this.”

So, yeah, my own retardedness thrown back in my face. Thanks, Sarah. Thanks a lot.


A while back during the weekly shopping with Sarah, I realized that I had forgotten to grab a new multi-vitamin at Target. We were at the dread Whole Foods (yes, I shop at the godforsaken organic store. You forget, I was born in California. Which means despite my outer coating of “FuckOff!” there beats the heart of a goddamn hippie), when I had this realization. I was already in line, so Sarah ran back to grab a cheap bottle of whatever Lady vitamin they had.

Moments ago, I took this vitamin, and noticed the label: "VeganGuard! This product is certified vegan." This leaves me wondering: aren’t these mostly just minerals and extracts from fruits and veggies? Is there bacon in most multi vitamins?
And, hey, aren’t vegans always talking about how much healthier they are? If all they eat are fruits, veggies and all natural shit, why do they need a multi-vitamin? Is it because their diets DON’T provide them with all the nutrients they need? Muwaahahahahaha. Fuck off, vegans! I’m eating meat WHILE taking the ridiculous vegan vitamin. Take THAT!


Ok, the headache and waves of nausea can really just stop it right now. Three days is long enough.

I know, I had the initial, “Nausea? Could that be….dare I even think it? Morning sickness?” thoughts too. But let me assure you. No, is the answer. No. How do I know this? Because it’s not physically possible for me to be knocked up right now. So, seriously, Nausea, can you at least leave me alone if you aren’t an indicator of good news? Thanks.

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