Ode to her Red Raging-ness

Today is my beautiful friend’s birthday. I met Sarah in a college connection program (basically people toooooo tired of high school get to go to college their senior year. Yay) Sarah can be very serious, and when I first met her, I thought she hated me. Eventually we became part of the same group who’d hang out between classes. My favorite game to play was “Say totally unabashed things and wait for Sarah to blush.” Really not a difficult game, but eventually she got more used to people talking about menstruation and anal sex over breakfast. It takes a while for Sarah to accept people, but once she has there is not end to what she will do for you.
Sarah is the only friend from Chico I really have anymore. While other people moved on, or worse yet, stayed completely stationary, Sarah refused to let me get distant. If I haven’t called her in a while, she will call and demand a return phone call.
For example, Sarah is my only friend from home who ever visited me in Milwaukee. And not just once either. At least once a year, Sarah put herself in debt and hopped on a plane to spend a few days with me in the wintry deathland that is Milwaukee. During her stays in the land of a thousand smells, she also politely put up with: my irritating roommate(s), a string of obnoxious rich boys I dated, any number of annoying college bitches and me in response to all those people.
Sarah is a little harsh on herself, and thinks that she doesn’t really give people a chance. I think she’s just more perceptive than most and can spot a shithead from a mile away. Every person she disliked in my life (while I insisted she just “didn’t know them like I knew them”) turned out to be bad news. Sarah put up with me after the breakup from my ex. She took me out drinking and listened to me rag on and on and on about every stupid thing that was good/bad/terrible/traumatizing about the two years I was with him. Never once did she interrupt me to say, “Shut up. I don’t want to hear about it. I told you this guy sucked, you didn’t listen, so this is what you have coming.” Instead, she kept spending time with me, and eventually, inadvertently, provided a string of men I used to exorcise the ex-demon. In her bed, no less.
Sarah is probably one of the most self-aware people I know. Instead of hiding from her…not-so-desirable qualities, she’s faced them and is trying to fix herself. She’s not dwelling on past wrongs and letting other people’s choices dictate her life. She doesn’t do a damn thing halfway. No matter how overwhelmed she is, she’s always had time for my insanity. Sarah is one of the few people I can take a compliment from, without negating it. When Sarah says something, she means it.
This next part will worry my husband no end, but here it is anyway.

If I hadn’t met and married Xtian, Sarah would be the only person for me. And frankly, I’m only half-joking when I tell Xtian that we need a three-way marriage, and doesn’t Sarah fit the bill perfectly?
So Sarah, in celebration of your 24th birthday, I will suck it up and admit that I agree with you…..

Jean Luke Piccard is damn sexy.

And also, tomorrow, I vow to get totally, and completely wasted, while wearing an annoying shirt of my own creation. And I’ll probably let you see me topless by the end of the night. Happy Birthday Sarah Pie!