Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Hair Epiphanies.

All my life I have struggled with femininity. I grew up in a world where girls were expected to marry at 19, have numerous babies which they stay home to raise, are masters of all domesticity, and don't ask a lot of questions. That was never my thing. So, I rebelled against all things deemed "girly. " Makeup was never part of my daily routine, my hair gets washed, combed and left alone, except for the occassional ponytail to get it out of my face. Clothing is as simple as possible. Perkiness, peppiness and other abundant enthusiasm were not in my realm. Most of my traits are rather, to use my sister's term, dudely.
A little after college, I started to get a little more comfortable with some of my girlie behaviors. I actually bought some makeup. None of it received anything that could be called "regular use." But I HAD it. I reclaimed my kitchen, and learned to enjoy cooking. I owned up to my OCD-inspired cleaning habits, and took them a step further.
I still refuse to wear makeup more than a few times a year. And my hair is a constant source of annoyance. I have nice hair. Everyone tells me so. But it never looks pretty. I spent a lot of money seeking haircuts/styles that I could wash, brush, and never touch again. But they never worked. Once my hair dried, odd curls, waves and shapes owned my head. I kept searching though. It seemed that everyone else had nice hair, and didn't ever muss with it.
Finally it occurred to me. Umm, not one woman I know has "wash n' wear" hair. Not one woman in my office shows up to work with wet, or slept in, hair. They all take at least 5 minutes to style their hair. Duh. I guess some things dawn on me slowly.
But man, do I hate spending time on unnecessary things in the morning. I finally busted out my hair dryer yesterday morning. And what do you know. Even with a less-than-flattering-mistake-of-a-haircut, my hair looks nice.
You know, I'm pretty intelligent. I'm pretty astute, can debate almost anything with the best of 'em. So, why did it take me 24 years to discover that I can have nice hair with only 2 minutes of blowdrying?
Fear of the femme.
Sometimes, I kind of want to punch myself in the head.

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