OH MY GOD! Mekhi Phifer is unbelievably hot. Sorry, it should be apparent to everyone, that I've been drinking. A couple of hours in SF with my friend/coworker drinking bad, overpriced drinks has led to me ordering a pizza (of course they don't deliver, fascists) so, I'm killing time. I turned on the teevee and there is Mekhi Phifer talking on the food network. If Mekhi Phifer were within 100 miles of me right now, I would be on him. Apparently, drinking in moderate quanitites makes me unbelievably horny.
Seriously though, This is the first week I haven't had sex in a long time. I don't do well without it. I'm honestly considering walking around the block to the Ruby room and picking up a random person jus to get some. Fuck. I need to sneeze. Talk about unsatisfied on like three levels. I'm hungry (and trying to sober up enough to drive to pick up my pizza), horny (dear lord, I'm so tired of taking care of myself I could spit), and now, I can't sneeze. Ridiculous.
Granted, I'm awfully spoiled when it comes to getting some, but as I realized tonight, my standards are terribly low. Do you have most of the parts of your body? Do you own the teeth in your head? Odds are, I would sleep with you, especially tonight.
OH FUCK! Rachel Ray just FED MEKHI SOMETHING!!!! I would kill my cats to do that right now.
I either need to stop drinking for the night, or drink more so I can't figure out how to type.
I need a boyfriend. Or at least a cabana boy. Or a sex slave. Damn it.
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