Friday, December 22, 2006

Just filling space, awesome.

I love the fact that my life is so drama-free at this moment that I’m actually reveling in other peoples’ drama. Like most things in life, drama is a much better spectator sport than it is a participatory sport. I guess, some people have soap operas; I have other people’s actual lives. Is she or isn’t she knocked up? Will he or won’t he sleep with her, again? Will she ever discover that everyone hates her? Just cherry. Perhaps this all makes me a bad person. If so, I’m good with it.

So, I might have mentioned that I’m back in the gym-rat lifestyle. I pretty much love the gym. Except for a few people who exist at every exercise-type establishment I’ve ever been to. These are:

Gastrointestinal distress person: their discomfort can be YOUR suffocating stench problem in a matter of minutes. Thanks for sharing.

Chatty guy in the sauna/steam room: they don’t actually workout, which is why the have the energy to interview you while you sweat.

Mr./Ms. “I love my body”: Yes, we should all strive to love our bodies, but these delightful persons gaze lovingly at themselves while they, say, stretch, lift a weight, walk toward the drinking fountain, take a drink, flex, etc. This is also the person who will, without fail run SMACK into you anywhere you go in the gym. “Sorry, I was so busy watching the way my butt flexes while I walk to see you.”

Here for the AWESOME dating scene: this person will half-assedly workout, while never breaking a sweat, in order to chat up unsuspecting patrons. These are the same people who either bathe in cologne/perfume, are made up/coiffed to the fullest, and their outfit will always match. Because, who DOESN’T love being hit on while they are running and sweating profusely at 5 am? Oh yeah, EVERYONE.


I heard some great marital/relationship advice the other day. I will share it here for other’s to benefit from: don’t marry/be in a relationship with a horrible person.
I’ll give that a minute to sink in.

I know, right? Just think, if we all stopped being/dating horrible people, wouldn’t our lives be so much better?

Ok, I’m all sarcasmed out for the day.

No comments: