Monday, October 24, 2005

Coley's pain

My life and activities are becoming increasingly determined by headaches. It's now easier to count the days I don't have a headache, since I'm awful at math (and counting past ten with my shoes on). Freakin' righteous.

Overall, the weekend was a delight. We had a ridiculously full house, what with my mom and sister in town, and Xtian's friend Pat visiting. Our teensy one bedroom apartment was stuffed to the gills. Luckily, my family doesn't believe in personal space, so we were all snuggly as can be.

I hate to admit it, but I don't really like Xtian's friend Pat. Pat is 25, used to be quite the hellion, but recanted and reclaimed good little Mormon boy status a few years ago. I had only met Pat once and hadn't known what to think of him, but I was just glad that one of Xtian's friends finally came to visit. He's nice enough. But my god.

Pat is one of 9 children, and it shows. He needs attention. And a lot of it. I expect that shit from 13 year old boys, not men in their 20's. Then he complained that he was lonely and can't find a good woman. I have a few ideas about that, (juvenile behavior, constant need for all eyes on him, disagreeing with EVERYTHING anyone else says, thinking it's funny etc). Now, I have a huge appreciation for silliness, but this guy annoyed the hell out of me.
Which makes me feel badly for not liking the only friend of Xtian's who could be bothered to come visit, or even call him. Xtian is an amazingly kind person who looks past everyone's faults and sees a wonderful human. It's what allows him to still love me after discovering what a whack-job I am. I love it and hate it about him.


I get to go to a wedding! My coworker friend Jen (not to be confused with Jen, who was formerly known as Coworker Friend Jen, until she stopped being my coworker and is now just my friend Jen) is getting married the Friday after Thanksgiving, and I get to go! I'm so excited. I hadn't expected an invitation, since it's a small wedding, we don't really hang out outside of work very much etc. Granted, this is a "cancellation invitation," which would make some people feel second tier, but I'll take it. It's the good little mormon girl in me, I just love weddings.

And as narcissistic as I am, it makes me wonder if I'll ever get married. I've always wanted kids, but never really been interested in marriage. Unlike Coworker Friend Jen, who has no interest in children, but is all about marriage. I was engaged previously, but only because that was the only way my ex would consider kids. I have to say, I've become even more cynical about marriage after that.
I've never cared about engagement rings or anything like that, but now, I find myself wanting a big fuck-off ring. Not necessarily diamond, but something big and relatively expensive. Perhaps I feel like the guy would be more likely to think about it and actually be ready if he has to part from a chunk of cash?
Who knows. I don't care about how/if I get married. And I'm trying to wean myself from the idea of having children. So, what have I got left to look forward to and plan for? My career sucks, my family is all good, and I don't really have any passions. I'm not a hobby type of person. Perhaps it's time to develop some.

Yeah, but back to the topic at hand: I love weddings.

My mind is wandering, and I'm ready to go home. Have a fabulous evening y'all.

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