Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Tuesday is the reason people drink mid-week.

Tuesday. Is there a worse day of the week? Well, yeah, any day that isn’t Friday. I’ll even take a Friday over Sunday any day. Something about killing a few hours at work, while daydreaming about the weekend is far better than actually experiencing your weekend with Monday on your mind. But Tuesday sucks. The memory of the weekend is long gone, with nothing good to look forward to for a few days.

Oooooh, except, I have Thursday to look forward to. Drinky drinks with Jen and some serious female friend time. Deeee-lightful. Even though my funk has lifted, I’ve been sticking close to home lately. Time to get off my lazy ass and be social. I need it.

Gah, this guy who sits behind me keeps tapping twice on his desk, so it sounds like someone knocking on my cube. Really annoying. Might have to throw a glare and clear my throat. I have soooo much spine, I know.

So, the baby lust is overwhelming. It’s constantly on my mind. Some might wonder why a 23 year old is freaking out about having children. Particularly right now. Well, that’s rather personal. And while I’m usually upfront and prone to TMI, I hesitate to open this for discussion. Some things are hard for even me to talk about. Suffice to say that some medical complications have left me with a shorter time frame than most women. And being that I want an enormous family, this is something really hard for me to think about.

Because of this, I find myself talking to Xtian about this more often than I know he’s comfortable with. Xtian is happy to talk about having kids in really abstract terms. When we started getting together, I was upfront about what I wanted: children, really soon. Like immediately. He was kind of honest. He told me he wanted kids, but wants to get married first. Fine. If that’s the way it has to be, that’s fine. I can roll with that. But, now I’m just trying to get a grip on how long this is all going to take.

Unfortunately, my constant deluge of baby talk is starting to be an area of contention. Xtian started talking about maybe not needing to get married. Which would be fine if he actually felt that way. But this man thinks that expressing his needs in any way makes him selfish. So, long story short (too late) I’m still no closer to having kids.

I respect what he wants and needs. I understand that he’s not ready. And while I could certainly have kids without him, I don’t think so. I have nothing but respect for single parents, but I’m not going to choose to be one from the get-go. So, I’m back to constantly wondering how long this is going to take. And I know, that if we wait too long, and I’m not able to have kids, I will resent him forever. I don’t know that I would be able to get past that.

My insanity runneth over.
So, after a few weeks of nothing, my sister had yet another run-in with the bitches from hell. She was driving in my mom’s car with a friend, when the disgusting girls pulled up behind them at a light. They yelled, and threatened while Kat sat quietly. One of them threw a soda onto my mom’s car, hosing it with beverage. Yeah, that’s good for the paint.
So, Kat does nothing, goes back to school and talks to my mom, who convinces her to report it. Here’s where the awesomeness comes in, if these bitches pull one more thing, they’re getting arrested. Excellent.

Kat has shown more dignity and restraint than I would have. Had I been in the car, those girls wouldn’t have their own teeth anymore.

My only hope, is that this shitty behavior follows them long enough to hurt their futures. Maybe this makes me a vindictive bitch, but I don’t care. I’m a little protective of my sister. I have a delightful daydream that these girls will be unable to get into college or even get a decent job due to the paper trail following them and end up having to take jobs as $1 strippers at REALLY sketchy clubs. Man, I’m really getting worked up over this. Time to chill out.


Right, time to go home and try to avoid having a full on bitch-hating-baby-lusting-job-disliking freakout. Have a wonderful night.

PS Funny media snippet: so they keep showing this video clip of Bush in New Orleans talking about how they are “problem solvers” while the Mayor is in the background looking like he’s trying desperately not to choke the shit out of the president. Tragically funny.

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